Today, I'm recovering from abdominal surgery. In addition to pain, I'm having trouble peeing and haven't pooped since Sunday, so my surgeon prescribed a laxative. Turns out I'm allergic to it. Now I'm covered in hives, even in my ears, incisions, and lady parts. I also still haven't pooped. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I'm recovering from colon surgery. They gave me codeine as pain relief, which has made me constipated. I'm currently sat on the toilet, trying to push out what feels like a small child wrapped in barbed wire out without busting my stitches. FML
Today, I was constipated and so desperate to go that I ate an entire box of laxatives. Now I'm in the hospital on a saline drip for dehydration and malnutrition, in addition to getting a massive enema and having the most agonizing shit of my life. FML
Today, after suffering probably my worst night of appendicitis, which consisted of vomiting, diarrhea, and going to the doctor, starving, only to find out a couple of hours later in the hospital ER that I'm allergic to penicillin and close to dying. Again. FML
Today, I have a tooth infection that's spread to my jaw and ear. It hurts so badly that I'm practically in tears. Today's also the day I found out I'm allergic to the medication I was prescribed. Everything hurts, I'm covered in hives, and I can't stop throwing up. FML
Today, I'm recovering from a urinary tract infection. The infection made me have to pee constantly. Now the antibiotics I'm taking for it are giving me the shits instead. FML
Today, after finishing a bottle and a half of pure cranberry juice to flush my bladder for a possible infection, I've been spewing liquid shits all day, my asshole burns, and it hurts to sit. FML
Today, the medication I’ve been taking has caused me to become constipated for so long I'm now unable to go, because all my poop is a solid mass in my bowels no stool softener can touch. So a surgeon is either going up my ass with a hose and a spoon, or cutting open my stomach to remove it. FML
Today, I got all four of my wisdom teeth taken out. I happen to be allergic to all types of pain medication. FML
Today, I was finally able to get up and take a shit after being bedridden due to my knee surgery. I had diarrhea and because I can't properly bend my knee, I can't wipe my butt. FML
Today, I woke up with extreme stomach pains. After being rushed to the hospital and having numerous tests performed, I was told my intestines were over-stretched with stool. I'm essentially so full of shit it hurts. FML
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Top comments
drakem 7
aw that sucks
OnlyAvailableID 28
That's gotta be painful. FYL, OP, quite unfortunate series of events.
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Comments (142)
randomlover 0
ok that's TMI not FML :P
TaylorTotsYumm 10
Banana juice.
JocelynKaulitz 28
push dammit puuuush!
tj79 3
they shouldn't have released you until you had a bowel movement as it could be a complication of the operation
hedgehogs 0
And you've told your doctor's office all this, right? Very important, maybe a lot more important than just feeling awful. Which I hope ends very, very soon.
ladycoyote107 0
They didn't call me back today.
cld214 0
I'm so sorry to hear you're having problems. I had a csection a week and a half ago. I couldn't bm for 4 days, even though I was taking a softener! When I finally did, it was like a russet potato and I bled... bad... fiber only made things worse. I quit taking all of my medication, and just consume as much juice as possible! I was going to post my fml, but yours is worse. Good luck!
styphon 5
you can always cut back on the opiates/pain killers which are a major cause of constipation.
NickK49 0
Maybe you should try a hot pocket
styphon 5
not sure why stool softeners are so popular after abdominal surgery. Problem is, with abdominal surgeries (including c-sections, excluding colon resections) the bowel becomes stunned and stops moving (medical term: ileus). this will resolve without treatment in usually 2-3 days. also, opiods given will decrease bowel transit time further complicating constipation in some people. lots of the time providers will give colace, a stool softener, that doesn't even address the problem. I am convinced it is for the placebo effect as most non-medical people think "a laxative is a laxative". if past 2-3 days, or in discomfort, it makes much more sense to give a pro-motility agent or osmotic agent.
MonsterBre248 0
Well a reasonable explanation could be that girls just don't poo. I'm just kidding, that sucks. I'm sorry :/