Today, I broke up with my boyfriend. Devastated, he withered onto the floor into an inconsolable wreck in front of dozens of people. The ribbon of embarrassment that went down my spine was too much for me to handle, so I had to tell him I was "only joking." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I broke up with my boyfriend. I had only been dating him for about a month. Thinking he wouldn't take it very hard, I invited him over so I could tell him in person. Little did I know he was going to start crying on my couch and not leave for 5 hours. FML
Today, my boyfriend's proposal speech somehow ended with him breaking up with me. FML
Today, I went to go meet my boyfriend at a restaurant to tell him it just wasn't working out. Before I could do so, he proposed. I had to tell him no, so he started to cry and ran out. Everyone looked at me like some kind of monster. FML
Today, I was making out with my boyfriend. When we took a break and went downstairs, he checked the mail. He had received a letter from his ex-girlfriend, which he opened in front of me. He then began sobbing on my shoulder and broke up with me. He still had to drive me home. FML
Today, I tried to break up with my boyfriend. Midway through the speech I'd prepared, I fainted and hit my head against a wall. FML
Today, I broke up with my boyfriend. I called him about two minutes after, and he'd already fallen asleep. FML
Today, my boyfriend took me out to a fancy dinner. Halfway through, he said he wanted to break up. I started crying, but the whole restaurant thought he'd proposed, and started clapping. FML
Today, my ex-boyfriend called my parents to let them know I broke up with him. He was sobbing. FML
Today, I had a mental breakdown. Many things have been going completely wrong in my life, and I finally decided to let my boyfriend know about it. After about an hour of explaining and pouring my heart out, his response was, "I think we were better off as friends." FML
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me, and gave his little speech, over the phone. He did all this while his ass was firmly planted in a chair in the next room. FML
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Top comments
alexiiiis09 0
Yikes. That's why you should break up with someone in private
saIty 17
Operation make a scene in front of a crowd of people, to get girlfriend back, always works.
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Comments (214)
underguarded 20
You should have walked away. Now you'll never be able to leave.
kemando 22
That mask reminds me of jack of blades.
underguarded 20
Interesting. It's from Silent Hill.
mondayna 3
Te mask has nothing to do with the comment haha wtf
mrp4nda 2
If OP was my girlfriend, she wouldn't be my girlfriend anymore.
Grimmerie 31
good imagery, really? "ribbon of embarrassment" just makes me think of a ribbon covered in neon pink cocks, not, you know, being embarrassed.
mbishop94479 4
Very good diction. Good imagery.
NoNotTheFace 8
It appears as though, when you broke up with him, his balls dropped off and his penis inverted into his body. Or he's just really ******* upset. How long were you dating?
godbear 5
ha sexist joke?
Grimmerie 31
the way this is worded is painful. stay in school, kids. otherwise, you end up writing fmls in purple prose to try and make internet strangers think you're intelligent.
Ugi 27
This is from Asia/Pacific. I have a feeling from the vocab' and grammar that OP's first language is not English, which makes it a damn good attempt in my book. How's your Chinese?
Mach10 0
Irrelevant. Even a word-for-word Google Translate of a half-decent Chinese poem would would read better than this dross. "Ribbon of embarrasment?" How about "Bouquet of flatulence?" Pee-yew!
RedPillSucks 33
nothing wrong with dramatic imagery. she'll make tons of money writing harlequin novels, or the next twilight series.... *runs from mob with pitch forks*
stacianichole 2
This is just overdone. If this were a Creative Writing 101 critique and not FML, I think I'd say the language is more showy than expressive.
TheNewGuy03 29
My two cents -- I've met people that aren't from English-speaking countries that know more about our language than we do. The OP seems to have a very good command of the language, and it's actually well written, but it does come off a bit stuffy. |the kid|
stevenmx86 8
Why the hell would you joke about that?
Stoneyyay 5
okay, now I'm not a grammar nazi but... this fml is fillex with contradicting input (from an english aspect) op uses big words in complex sentences. but it comes out as making sorta sense....
docscientist 10
After reading what 30 said, you still had the impression he/she was on earth?
fat_bastard_607 0
What spine?
NEEPLES 7
Ok no run on sentences please.
iwadasn 33
This is the most badly written FML I've ever seen.