Today, my boyfriend went down on me for the first time. After about five minutes, he sneezes violently on me. I don't know what's worse, him getting snot all over my intimate bits or the fact that the sneeze felt better then what he was doing. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was making out with a guy I really like. Midway through, he stopped and said he had to sneeze. After waiting several seconds, he said the urge went away and we kept making out. Ten seconds later, he violently sneezed in my open mouth. FML
Today, I witnessed my boyfriend sneeze in his hands, and then lick it. FML
Today, I tried kissing my boyfriend on the tip of his nose. He sneezed mid-kiss and headbutted me. Now, there's just an awkward silence. FML
Today, my boyfriend was about to sneeze. To avoid getting his new tablet wet, he chose to sneeze right into my face instead. FML
Today, while kissing my girlfriend's neck, I sneezed a blob of snot onto her. She told me that "it doesn't matter", while hiccuping a bit of vomit. FML
Today, while having fun between the sheets with my boyfriend, his allergies got the best of him and his nose started running. Every time he kissed me he'd drip snot onto my face. When I complained, he said I was being insensitive. FML
Today, I was making out with my boyfriend. It was going well until our braces got caught. Out of pain, I tried to pull away, which made my eyes water. Then I sneezed in his mouth. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were lying in bed with a pedestal fan on facing us when my boyfriend sneezed. Where did he sneeze? Into the fan, which then sprayed it all over my face. FML
Today, I sneezed. My boyfriend told me to shut up. FML
Today, at work, I was standing at the till helping an attractive man. I have a cold and could feel the snot bubbling up. He orders and we flirt for a bit. Just as I'm about to hand him his product, I sneeze quite loudly and forcefully all over his face. Guess I won't be getting that number. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
perdix 31
Guys need to admit they need some guidance when we are down there. We just basically have a hot dog, and if you've ever had a popsicle, you've had sufficient training in fellatio. (Lots of girls don't have a clue what to do with the balls.) You women have this labyrinth of lips and folds and nubbins and slots, and we have no idea when to begin! Even harder if it's covered in hair. So, if a sneeze is better than his technique, YDI for not telling him what you want! He ain't down there for his own enjoyment and would be rightfully pissed if he found out his efforts were for naught.
Grillypower 0
bahahahhah. gross much.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (66)
bree_doll14 3
I think both are pretty bad OP
swedeNix 13
Why so many sayin shaved is à must?? Totalt shaved is like going down on à 10year old
jzk1015 2
*than
Gaga_is_God6969 13
All the more reason that I'm a lesbian. Just sayin'...
anonymous100000 17
intimate bits? that sounds disgusting by itself. is that really what you call it? "hey big boy, come feel my intimate bits"
spacewardtrout 16
If it was his first time then he probably just needs a little practice.. takes some figuring out lol.