Today, my boyfriend went down on me for the first time. After about five minutes, he sneezes violently on me. I don't know what's worse, him getting snot all over my intimate bits or the fact that the sneeze felt better then what he was doing. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was making out with a guy I really like. Midway through, he stopped and said he had to sneeze. After waiting several seconds, he said the urge went away and we kept making out. Ten seconds later, he violently sneezed in my open mouth. FML
Today, I witnessed my boyfriend sneeze in his hands, and then lick it. FML
Today, I tried kissing my boyfriend on the tip of his nose. He sneezed mid-kiss and headbutted me. Now, there's just an awkward silence. FML
Today, my boyfriend was about to sneeze. To avoid getting his new tablet wet, he chose to sneeze right into my face instead. FML
Today, while kissing my girlfriend's neck, I sneezed a blob of snot onto her. She told me that "it doesn't matter", while hiccuping a bit of vomit. FML
Today, while having fun between the sheets with my boyfriend, his allergies got the best of him and his nose started running. Every time he kissed me he'd drip snot onto my face. When I complained, he said I was being insensitive. FML
Today, I was making out with my boyfriend. It was going well until our braces got caught. Out of pain, I tried to pull away, which made my eyes water. Then I sneezed in his mouth. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were lying in bed with a pedestal fan on facing us when my boyfriend sneezed. Where did he sneeze? Into the fan, which then sprayed it all over my face. FML
Today, I sneezed. My boyfriend told me to shut up. FML
Today, at work, I was standing at the till helping an attractive man. I have a cold and could feel the snot bubbling up. He orders and we flirt for a bit. Just as I'm about to hand him his product, I sneeze quite loudly and forcefully all over his face. Guess I won't be getting that number. FML
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Top comments
perdix 31
Guys need to admit they need some guidance when we are down there. We just basically have a hot dog, and if you've ever had a popsicle, you've had sufficient training in fellatio. (Lots of girls don't have a clue what to do with the balls.) You women have this labyrinth of lips and folds and nubbins and slots, and we have no idea when to begin! Even harder if it's covered in hair. So, if a sneeze is better than his technique, YDI for not telling him what you want! He ain't down there for his own enjoyment and would be rightfully pissed if he found out his efforts were for naught.
Grillypower 0
bahahahhah. gross much.
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Comments (66)
GrapefruitZoe 0
Snot on your intimate bits? Mucus should NEVER be there. Oh, except when...oh yeah, when you're ALIVE.
k43L1 0
hahaha gross. yeah...you should definitely give him some guidance this way you're happy and he's happy that you're happy.
sexbombkitty 0
what you said about him not being very good in bed they get better with practise. The first time I had sex with my boyfriend he cut his own penis with his finger nail! x
Achan_fml 5
hahahahahahahaha XD
davids123 0
aww pooor guy haa
douchbaggins 0
God bless you
windfuelsfire 10
hey op have him Know where your clit is. then, have him do circles with his tongue around your clit, and go sideways with the tongue on the clit. ask him to alternate between the 2 and you should come. I love going down on girls and mine comes in 5 min or less when I do that. have fun !
aidenkush 0
haha that sucks
YUMmMm 0
LMFAO.. xD AHAHAA
BlAzEtHiS 0
Its because you need to give him some instruction. You need to guide him to doin what you like. If you're lucky he'll start feeling better then a snot ball hitting your genitals.
babe7260 30
Gotta teach these boys what to do Honey!!! ;)