Today, I was at a restaurant. I turned around looking for the restroom. I almost walked into the men’s room, then corrected myself and stumbled in the hallway looking for the ladies’. The employees thought I was drunk and kicked me out. I hadn’t had a single drink. I’m just clumsy as shit. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was at a busy restaurant and, in a rush, walked into the men’s restroom instead of the women’s. I was so focused on my phone that I didn’t notice the stares, or the guy at the sink giving me the confused glare. When I finally looked up and saw the urinals, I practically sprinted out. FML
Today, at a fancy restaurant, I walked into the restroom. After washing my hands, I looked up and noticed the urinals and the sudden presence of three very confused men. I had walked into the men’s bathroom. I pretended to check my phone like I was lost. FML
Today, I went to my favorite bar after work for a drink. On my way to the porch out back, I didn't realize the sliding glass door was shut, and walked straight into it. I was stone cold sober, but the bartender refused to believe me, and cut me off before my first beer. FML
Today, I was at a party and went to the bathroom. The door was tricky to lock, but in my inebriated state I thought I'd managed it. Apparently, I hadn’t. Midway through my business, the door swung open, and in walked a group of people looking for their coats. We just stared at each other in shock until someone finally closed the door. FML
Today, I went to a coffee shop. As I headed over to stand in line, I tripped over my own feet. I got back up, then tripped up yet again. Everyone was staring, and I was so mortified that I went to leave. I then struggled with the door under their glares before realising it opened the other way. FML
Today, I was so drunk that I pissed myself in a hotel hallway while wearing a dress. My shoes squished all the way back to the room. FML
Today, I walked into a restroom at a restaurant, took one step inside, and realized it was the staff-only restroom. The manager was inside, staring at me like I was an alien. I just smiled and awkwardly walked out. FML
Today, I was at a crowded restaurant and rushed to the bathroom. In my haste, I didn't notice I had walked into the men's room until I was washing my hands and a guy walked in, gave me a puzzled look, and said, "You're brave." FML
Today, while waiting on tables at work, I was carrying a glass of red wine when I lost balance and spilt it everywhere. After cleaning the floor and myself up and after refilling a new glass, I did exactly the same thing again. FML
Today, I went out with my best friend and her hot brother. Upon our exit out of the restaurant I walked right into the glass door and rebounded back off it. The whole restaurant was silent as I shamefully walked out only to trip on the curb outside. FML
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Top comments
Chazzster 32
First time wearing high heels in public?
TwoBytesCarley 27
*woosh*
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Comments (4)
Chazzster 32
First time wearing high heels in public?
Jaymail 19
If it’s a single stall bathroom with a lock on it and the ladies room is occupied and you REALLY have to go then what’s the big deal? I’ve done it myself under those circumstances. Otherwise just acknowledge your error. Apologize if needed. And don’t give it a second thought.
TwoBytesCarley 27
*woosh*
RichardPencil 32
Even more reason to kick you out! They kick out drunks because alcohol makes normally coordinated people clumsy. They don't need your klutz-ass smashing glassware and fine china.
BurnInDemonFire 39
Are you more of a Peter Sellers "Clouseau" or a Steve Martin version?
RichardPencil 32
Chevy Chase?