Today, a five year-old that I am babysitting picked up a knife and said he would chop my nuts off if I didn't give him his ice cream before dinner. Only 5 more hours to go. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was babysitting a 4-year-old, and we decided to play a game of hide and seek. Before he started to count, he looked me in the eyes and said that if I hid in his spot, he'd murder me with a knife when he grows up. I have to babysit this kid for the rest of the summer. FML
Today, I was babysitting a 7 year-old brat. He refused to eat his vegetables, so I forbade him from playing until they were finished. He stomped off upstairs, so I let him cool off for a couple of minutes. When I went upstairs, he had taken scissors to all of his mother's clothes. FML
Today, while babysitting, I got stabbed by a 7 year-old with a mechanical pencil. FML
Today, I was babysitting. Everything was going well until the kid called 911 on me for making him eat his vegetables. FML
Today, I babysat a 6-year-old boy for the first time. When I said it was his bedtime, he just screamed "Eat a dick!" at me. I was so shocked, all I could do was leave him be. When his parents returned, I had to make up an excuse for why he was still awake and watching TV, to save my pride. FML
Today, I was babysitting a four year-old. He was mad and began hitting me. I told him to use his words not his fists when he's mad. He then began telling me how much he hated me, and that I should go die and never come back. FML
Today, I was babysitting a 7 year-old girl and we were eating chocolate covered nuts. She kept on chewing the nuts and wondered where the chocolate was. I told her to taste the chocolate you suck on the nuts. Then her parents came home and the first thing she said was, "I learned how to suck nuts!" FML
Today, I was babysitting a two year-old. He was messing around with a silver fork and I told him it was dangerous. He then got mad at me, started crying, and stabbed me right in the foot. Be warned, even though they're little, they can still cause a lot of pain. FML
Today, I babysat the Antichrist of all kids. After the 5 long hours were over, his parents came home. Instead of paying me what they agreed, they offered to let me eat some leftovers of a takeout in the fridge. I'm so afraid of confrontation that I accepted. FML
Today, while babysitting a girl, I told her to be quiet so she wouldn't wake her little brother. In reply, she told me that she would kill me, wake her brother up to show him my dead body, then draw all over my face. I'm stuck with her for another two hours. FML
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Top comments
1215116a 14
Spoiled brat. -_-
Oceanborn_fml 24
You're babysitting and allow the kid to get his hands on a knife? Please get a different job
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Comments (168)
Doortje 30
You're afraid of a 5 year old? Just tell him that before he can even think of getting the knife you will choke him with your bare hands and cut him into tiny little pieces and make chilli con carne of him. When he tells his parents, you deny this ever happened of course.
xunshyne 0
That cupcake in doortje profile pic looks yum mi- o yeah why did the kid have a knife? Yea pay attention
captainbj2 0
Tell the parents you want double when they get home or you will report the child to children's services. Then do it anyway...you may prevent someone else's pain in the future....
marpay 11
What is Children's services going to do about a child making a threat to you? Nothing, because he didn't do anything and threats from a child are nothing plus, the kid is under 8 so he isn't legally responsible for anything he does.
captainbj2 0
Just a note... child services will investigate because the child has learned the violent behavior somewhere.
marpay 11
Most likely from watching to much violent tv shows.
prelim_champ 10
And his violent-TV-show-watching habit had to have come from somewhere...
ShadowLuffer 0
O.o Black Ops much? I'm jking. But mang, that kid is strong! O.e
FYLDeep 26
You shouldn't give him the ice cream or dinner. ******* brat.
alanalovesyou 0
Can't wait to see what the kid will be like when he's 15.
DadHater100 0
OK that kid got some problems and where did he get a knife? Aren't his parents supposed to be watching him?
Doortje 30
Well, no, since they're out and hired the OP to babysit.
ihavenosoul 4
Yeah, they're watching him....that's why he has a baby-sitter.
auddylynne 0
Uhhh that lil kid is creepy
lovelife9 12
That's when you count to 3, for him to give you the knife back. If you reach to 3, that's when you put him in timeout for five minutes
je_suis_fml 11
I highly doubt a timeout is suitable for that mini nutcase...
ilovemyjb13 1
HAHA THAT WAD MY FRIEND WHO WROTE THAT ^ LOL
jwa2000 3
Is his name Chucky?????
BSeaman 0
You Might Wanna Give That Kid His Ice Cream. (: