Today, a five year-old that I am babysitting picked up a knife and said he would chop my nuts off if I didn't give him his ice cream before dinner. Only 5 more hours to go. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was babysitting a 4-year-old, and we decided to play a game of hide and seek. Before he started to count, he looked me in the eyes and said that if I hid in his spot, he'd murder me with a knife when he grows up. I have to babysit this kid for the rest of the summer. FML
Today, I was babysitting a 7 year-old brat. He refused to eat his vegetables, so I forbade him from playing until they were finished. He stomped off upstairs, so I let him cool off for a couple of minutes. When I went upstairs, he had taken scissors to all of his mother's clothes. FML
Today, while babysitting, I got stabbed by a 7 year-old with a mechanical pencil. FML
Today, I was babysitting. Everything was going well until the kid called 911 on me for making him eat his vegetables. FML
Today, I babysat a 6-year-old boy for the first time. When I said it was his bedtime, he just screamed "Eat a dick!" at me. I was so shocked, all I could do was leave him be. When his parents returned, I had to make up an excuse for why he was still awake and watching TV, to save my pride. FML
Today, I was babysitting a four year-old. He was mad and began hitting me. I told him to use his words not his fists when he's mad. He then began telling me how much he hated me, and that I should go die and never come back. FML
Today, I was babysitting a 7 year-old girl and we were eating chocolate covered nuts. She kept on chewing the nuts and wondered where the chocolate was. I told her to taste the chocolate you suck on the nuts. Then her parents came home and the first thing she said was, "I learned how to suck nuts!" FML
Today, I was babysitting a two year-old. He was messing around with a silver fork and I told him it was dangerous. He then got mad at me, started crying, and stabbed me right in the foot. Be warned, even though they're little, they can still cause a lot of pain. FML
Today, I babysat the Antichrist of all kids. After the 5 long hours were over, his parents came home. Instead of paying me what they agreed, they offered to let me eat some leftovers of a takeout in the fridge. I'm so afraid of confrontation that I accepted. FML
Today, while babysitting a girl, I told her to be quiet so she wouldn't wake her little brother. In reply, she told me that she would kill me, wake her brother up to show him my dead body, then draw all over my face. I'm stuck with her for another two hours. FML
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Top comments
1215116a 14
Spoiled brat. -_-
Oceanborn_fml 24
You're babysitting and allow the kid to get his hands on a knife? Please get a different job
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Comments (168)
perdix 31
Shoot the little bastard. You're in Texas -- that would be legal. OK, if you don't want to deal with a grand jury, smack the knife out of his hand with a baseball bat and make him watch you eat his ice cream AND yours.
indielove 13
So did OP give the kid his ice cream?
stevenmx86 8
Why did he have a knife in the first place?
corrinaswan 0
The kid got ahold of a knife how
THE_A_TEEN 28
Gosh, thank you for telling us information everyone knows because of the fml.
sxe_beast 11
This reminds of the FML where the kid told his teacher that his mother starved him because she wouldn't give him pizza and ice cream for breakfast resulting in child services showing up.
XenaWP 6
Why are knives in a 5yo kid's reach? O.o
MzMuLaBaBii_ 0
Lmao I love this story
CiaranPM 0
If you feel threatened by a 5 year old, you're pretty much a wimp.
potsie10 4
Give him the damn ice cream dumbass its not like its your kid! plus he's threatening you with knives the ic cream before dinner is the least of your worries.
krazy_glu3 0
I think I know why the parents got a baby sitter... So they could escape.