Today, a five year-old that I am babysitting picked up a knife and said he would chop my nuts off if I didn't give him his ice cream before dinner. Only 5 more hours to go. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was babysitting a 4-year-old, and we decided to play a game of hide and seek. Before he started to count, he looked me in the eyes and said that if I hid in his spot, he'd murder me with a knife when he grows up. I have to babysit this kid for the rest of the summer. FML
Today, I was babysitting a 7 year-old brat. He refused to eat his vegetables, so I forbade him from playing until they were finished. He stomped off upstairs, so I let him cool off for a couple of minutes. When I went upstairs, he had taken scissors to all of his mother's clothes. FML
Today, while babysitting, I got stabbed by a 7 year-old with a mechanical pencil. FML
Today, I was babysitting. Everything was going well until the kid called 911 on me for making him eat his vegetables. FML
Today, I babysat a 6-year-old boy for the first time. When I said it was his bedtime, he just screamed "Eat a dick!" at me. I was so shocked, all I could do was leave him be. When his parents returned, I had to make up an excuse for why he was still awake and watching TV, to save my pride. FML
Today, I was babysitting a four year-old. He was mad and began hitting me. I told him to use his words not his fists when he's mad. He then began telling me how much he hated me, and that I should go die and never come back. FML
Today, I was babysitting a 7 year-old girl and we were eating chocolate covered nuts. She kept on chewing the nuts and wondered where the chocolate was. I told her to taste the chocolate you suck on the nuts. Then her parents came home and the first thing she said was, "I learned how to suck nuts!" FML
Today, I was babysitting a two year-old. He was messing around with a silver fork and I told him it was dangerous. He then got mad at me, started crying, and stabbed me right in the foot. Be warned, even though they're little, they can still cause a lot of pain. FML
Today, I babysat the Antichrist of all kids. After the 5 long hours were over, his parents came home. Instead of paying me what they agreed, they offered to let me eat some leftovers of a takeout in the fridge. I'm so afraid of confrontation that I accepted. FML
Today, while babysitting a girl, I told her to be quiet so she wouldn't wake her little brother. In reply, she told me that she would kill me, wake her brother up to show him my dead body, then draw all over my face. I'm stuck with her for another two hours. FML
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Top comments
1215116a 14
Spoiled brat. -_-
Oceanborn_fml 24
You're babysitting and allow the kid to get his hands on a knife? Please get a different job
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Comments (168)
Oceanborn_fml 24
You're babysitting and allow the kid to get his hands on a knife? Please get a different job
rhysfucker 24
Thank you...exactly.
fatraptorjesus13 9
yes because all baby sitters watch the children every moment...it takes about 20 seconds for a 5 yo to climb a counter and grab a knife....
DocBastard 40
Yes fatraptor, that's EXACTLY what babysitters are supposed to do! Watch the children, especially if they go wandering off to a potentially dangerous part of the house (kitchen, workshop, BDSM dungeon, etc). Remind me never to hire you to watch my kids. You'd probably give them liquor and razor blades.
DLBL 23
You think the babysitter should remove every sharp object from the household before excepting the job? WTF, man. Typical, blame everyone but the rotten kid.
liquidSELECT 0
Are you babysitting a serial killers child???
techweed 12
Coolest five year old I've ever seen. Ever
THE_A_TEEN 28
You mean a five year old who wield's a knife to a babysitter demanding ice crean threatning to cut his nuts off is cool to you? You sir- are a dumbass. Please dont reproduce
Armoured 6
Agreed
fatraptorjesus13 9
fir the love of humanity kill yourself now or evolution will Soon enough
hottottie 0
I really hope your not scared...and I really hope you didn't give in.. :|
YourEvilHero 12
rip his pokemon cards in half... that'll show him.
Darcon 8
op is a ******* pussy and y the **** wud 5 yr old have access to knives..all this thinking makes my head hurt..op is a ******* pussy and y the **** wud 5 yr old have access to knives..all this thinking makes my head hurt..
_YeahImMe_ 0
I have an idea! Take away the knives.
kindlystfupls 0
Just curious why there was a knife readily available to a 5 year old? Bad parenting or bad babysitting??
Armoured 6
Both!
brianjman14 23
That's what I was thinking, too.
shrimpygymnast 9
looks like you better give him his ice cream.
LiveLaughFML 10
it's like the movie "The Omen" all over again :O