Today, a five year-old that I am babysitting picked up a knife and said he would chop my nuts off if I didn't give him his ice cream before dinner. Only 5 more hours to go. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was babysitting a 4-year-old, and we decided to play a game of hide and seek. Before he started to count, he looked me in the eyes and said that if I hid in his spot, he'd murder me with a knife when he grows up. I have to babysit this kid for the rest of the summer. FML
Today, I was babysitting a 7 year-old brat. He refused to eat his vegetables, so I forbade him from playing until they were finished. He stomped off upstairs, so I let him cool off for a couple of minutes. When I went upstairs, he had taken scissors to all of his mother's clothes. FML
Today, while babysitting, I got stabbed by a 7 year-old with a mechanical pencil. FML
Today, I was babysitting. Everything was going well until the kid called 911 on me for making him eat his vegetables. FML
Today, I babysat a 6-year-old boy for the first time. When I said it was his bedtime, he just screamed "Eat a dick!" at me. I was so shocked, all I could do was leave him be. When his parents returned, I had to make up an excuse for why he was still awake and watching TV, to save my pride. FML
Today, I was babysitting a four year-old. He was mad and began hitting me. I told him to use his words not his fists when he's mad. He then began telling me how much he hated me, and that I should go die and never come back. FML
Today, I was babysitting a 7 year-old girl and we were eating chocolate covered nuts. She kept on chewing the nuts and wondered where the chocolate was. I told her to taste the chocolate you suck on the nuts. Then her parents came home and the first thing she said was, "I learned how to suck nuts!" FML
Today, I was babysitting a two year-old. He was messing around with a silver fork and I told him it was dangerous. He then got mad at me, started crying, and stabbed me right in the foot. Be warned, even though they're little, they can still cause a lot of pain. FML
Today, I babysat the Antichrist of all kids. After the 5 long hours were over, his parents came home. Instead of paying me what they agreed, they offered to let me eat some leftovers of a takeout in the fridge. I'm so afraid of confrontation that I accepted. FML
Today, while babysitting a girl, I told her to be quiet so she wouldn't wake her little brother. In reply, she told me that she would kill me, wake her brother up to show him my dead body, then draw all over my face. I'm stuck with her for another two hours. FML
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Top comments
1215116a 14
Spoiled brat. -_-
Oceanborn_fml 24
You're babysitting and allow the kid to get his hands on a knife? Please get a different job
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Comments (168)
lmfaoloool 0
You are in big trouble ... Run ! .. or just hide the knives :)
hailphire130 0
**** that. Take out the child before he gets you. He'll ******* carve out your flesh with a spoon if you hide the knives.
cali_dude 5
Give the kid his ice-cream and know ones nuts get hurt.
BADDiam 4
Holy shit its chucky
jallred254 4
Or give him sherbet... He'll never know... Silly silly unsuspecting child. Muahah!
GlitteryMasakali 1
Snatch the knife out of his hands and deal with him crying. Or just share the ice cream, greedy OP.
saritaojeda 0
Lol
folgy 10
Teabag the knife out of his hand
jesernoob 13
or you can always just "Hide yo kids, hide yo wife!...,"
bigtaytay 13
Looks like OP is babysitting a little Brick Top in the making
jonan1212 5
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
OMG GIVE HIM ICE CREAM
StoryOfTheYear 15
Or just just cap the bugger off. That would be much easier.
ibedestinie 0
no.. he wants his nuts chopped off! -__-
1215116a 14
Spoiled brat. -_-
minisquid 9
Yeah, a real nutcase.
randii_17 11
I really hope the kid didn't get his way...
ifinsane 6
If your that much of a whip to handle a 5 year old even with a knife you shouldn't be babysitting
mileyfan17 8
Tell his parents. Kids these days lmao ;)
jajajapun 5
Children need to defend themselves. No one gets convicted for killing them, nowadays.
swinglifeaway123 8
sooo's muh peeenis... Inappropriate genital jokes ftw.
jallred254 4
It's called roidrage duhh!
jarlaxle1138 3
86-YAY Casey Anthony jokes xD
WCARlover 35
Whoa kids these days are intense!
ciarafox9 9
You better be getting paid a fortune!
FernAdele 9
I hope you saved your balls!
NoLimitzzGaming 7
Not trying to be rude or anything, just kinda a heads up but I think ya got a nip slip going on in your picture.
NoLimitzzGaming 7
Not trying to be rude or anything, just kinda a heads up but I think ya got a nip slip going on in your picture.
FernAdele 9
hahahaaa it's a shadow and I'm 4 years younger there
nitewlf12 10
That's exactly why women are the ones that babysit. This is what happens when men try to invade on a woman's task.
ThisGi 0
Physiologist
every1luvsvag 10
Oh, Kay, how I love watching you tear assholes.
THE_A_TEEN 28
Oh kay, I missed the way you out comment the assholes. Kudos to you.
CryMoreFMLs 15
Physiologist must be an old form of doctoring, a hidden practice that was turned illegal during the days of witch burning and torture. Or he's just a moron.
jonan1212 5
You mean "Pain in the NUTS"?
bubblekitty 1
This is what happens if people don't use condoms