Today, I saw a cute girl at a bar and decided to go and chat her up. After charming her with my usual crap for a while, I told her she was really pretty, and asked for her number. She replied, "You asshole, I met you here a year ago and gave you my number, and you never called me." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my friend and I went to a bar for drinks. I noticed this cute girl and went over to say "Hi." I had a great conversation with her and I asked for her number before she left. She passed it to me on a piece of paper with instructions specifying for my friend to call her and not me. FML
Today, I saw a beautiful girl at the bar. I attempted to be friendly and hit her up for a chat. She called me a “creep” and told me to get lost. A few moments later, another guy does the exact same thing I did and she smiled and kept flirting. FML
Today, I saw a cute girl at a night club. When I approached her and introduced myself, she said "Don't you remember me? We danced here last weekend... but you were smashed that night". I cheekily replied "Oh really? That's hot, what happened next?" She said "You were hitting on me. So, I left." FML
Today, I saw a cute girl working register at my regular coffee shop and politely asked the her for her number. I was brutally rejected. A few minutes later, a douchebag with a popped collar approached her with a cheesy pickup line and left with not only her number, but a free frappe. FML
Today, I saw an adorable girl at the bar and I went to talk to her. I decided to use my cheesiest pick up line to make her laugh. After I said it, she knew who I was. It was my cousin I hadn't seen in 8 years. FML
Today, I met a cute girl at a dance club. I entered her number in my phone just before she left the club. With a proud smile, I turned the screen towards my buddy, showing off my accomplishment. Attempting to give me a friendly pat he accidentally closed my phone. I hadn't saved the number. FML
Today, I got this beautiful girl's number at a bar. After the night was over, I was pretty drunk and sent too many drunk Snapchats. When I'd sobered up, I deleted them. She asked why I deleted them, so I said because I was drunk and didn't remember what I sent. She hasn't messaged me back since. FML
Today, I was relaxing alone at a bar when I was approached by the most gorgeous woman I've ever seen. She was too good to be true, so I asked, "Is this some kind of a prank?" She immediately turned around and left. She thought I was calling her ugly. I'll never see her again. FML
Today, I asked a girl for her number and I wrote it down when she gave it to me. When I called her, it wasn't her. She'd given me a restaurant's phone number. FML
Today, I met a girl at a bar. After buying her a few drinks, we decided to head back to her place. Not wanting to leave either of our cars, I followed her home. While driving, she sent me text because she missed her exit. I tried to text her back something witty and instead rear ended her. FML
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Top comments
YLIF 0
I'm suprised she was even talking to you for a while if she was still pissed at you. But YDI, obviously.
r1cthj 0
wow man, wtf?
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Comments (152)
wickawicka 0
hahaha!! This made me laugh so much. Oh man, I didn't think these things happened to people but apparently it does. This makes me love my life. !
Inspired22 11
I agree, this is completely hilarious! I feel bad for the OP that she was so mean about it, I think I would have just laughed. How often do that guys at the bar that get your number actually call? I mean, really. Get over it.
AntiChrist7 0
"women remember, it's like they have minds of their own." Jeff Murdock
chrysme 0
I know! sometimes, i wonder if i do!!!
nypd613 0
"my usual crap" lol
Rach_star 0
hahahah. thats what made me laugh too. :)
Ranoona 0
#28 very true. YDI
caligurrl 0
hi ydi-you dumb idiot
riotshields 4
She was probably lying because she didn't want to give you her number. If she had actually met you a year ago, she probably would've told you as soon as you started talking to her.
hilaryy_fml 0
or she was playing him like he played her.
kbaker90 0
If you're gonna be a player, you gotta remember who you play. You deserve it.
StarrieyedFML 0
You... are a ******* loser... "My usual crap"? YDI for being a Man-****. :] Get over yourself. I really hope that this deflated your ego.
GFLiE 0
StarrieyedFML is soundin a little jealous too...You're just pissed you're not as charming as OP over here. You can't even get a girl the first year. So apparently everyone who's better with the ladies than you and knows it has an inflated ego?
TheLetterZero 7
If you honestly think people are jealous, then you're really dumb.
pyroanarchist23 0
either your a dumbass or shes just bullshitting you and you never met her before
Georgia795 0
Welldone, manwhore. Next time you should actually use your brain every once in a while, dickwad.