Today, I saw an adorable girl at the bar and I went to talk to her. I decided to use my cheesiest pick up line to make her laugh. After I said it, she knew who I was. It was my cousin I hadn't seen in 8 years. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I saw a cute girl at a bar and decided to go and chat her up. After charming her with my usual crap for a while, I told her she was really pretty, and asked for her number. She replied, "You asshole, I met you here a year ago and gave you my number, and you never called me." FML
Today, I received a friend request on Facebook. I didn't know her, but she was cute, so I accepted the request. After looking at her pictures, I sent her a message saying "What's up cutie, do I know you?". She responded "Yes, I'm your cousin". FML
Today, I got drunk and tried to talk with my crush. I ended up telling her that she reminded me of my nieces. FML
Today, I saw a cute girl at a night club. When I approached her and introduced myself, she said "Don't you remember me? We danced here last weekend... but you were smashed that night". I cheekily replied "Oh really? That's hot, what happened next?" She said "You were hitting on me. So, I left." FML
Today, I was at McDonald's. I bumped into a guy, and as I was helping him pick up his food, I realized he was cute. I began smiling and I was about to introduce myself, when he began laughing and said, "It's you! I've heard about you!" He left laughing. I still don't know who he is, or what made him laugh. FML
Today, I found out the girl I hit on at the store I work at is my second cousin. FML
Today, I decided to hit on a very attractive girl. I guess I was too drunk to remember it was my family reunion. FML
Today, my friend and I went to a bar for drinks. I noticed this cute girl and went over to say "Hi." I had a great conversation with her and I asked for her number before she left. She passed it to me on a piece of paper with instructions specifying for my friend to call her and not me. FML
Today, while at my boyfriend's cousin's birthday party, I was hanging around with his sister as I didn't know anyone. She was talking to some friends when one of them asked her, "So, is your brother still going out with that crazy chick?" Her answer was to introduce me. FML
Today, I went to meet the girl I'd been talking to online for a while, and fallen in love with. When I arrived at her house, my brother answered the door and took a picture of my shocked face. He and his girlfriend had planned the entire thing because I'm apparently the most gullible member of the family. FML
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Top comments
LEPOfficer 0
I like how you said "adorable" to keep people from flamin' you for thinking your cousin is hawt.
frootloopkicker 0
I could totally see something like this happening to me... That's what happens when you have a large family where you only see a person once every five to ten years. Definitely FYL.
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Comments (104)
fmylife63093 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
wow ur ******* lucky. atleast u didnt take her home and sleep with her? btw 1st please?
crazytoaster 2
Incest: Keep it in the family and your kid might become president! Hey, it worked for Bush!
YDI_King 0
YDI for being gross. you knew who she was. you were just trying to hit that sweet cousin ass
darkshadow_fml 0
dude, Ohio isnt NEARLY far enough South for incest to be okay.
Atmaster 3
maybe your cousin will recognize you and take it as a joke she never has to know what you you wanted to do to her
DalekScythe 0
not really an FML. yeah it's a bit akward, but now you can see what you cousin has been up to and what she's been doing and hang out! so more like WIN ( kind of)
sens3sfailing 25
She recognized him first
Lemarine 7
Incest is overrated, I think OP should go for it
eragon2262 6
its only incest if she gets prego ;) haha and yes she recognized him first but after her realized who she was he could have played it off as a joke
WeStayCrunk24x7 0
YDI for not saying: those are some nice looking legs what time do they open?
frootloopkicker 0
I could totally see something like this happening to me... That's what happens when you have a large family where you only see a person once every five to ten years. Definitely FYL.
prinny_fml 0
in some countries cousins can marry
fmylife63093 0
incest is best!
jts2 3
Wincest.
youfaililaugh 0
Disgusting dick. That just proves that the only girl you can get is one within your family. Fail.
amerrah 4
incest is best when its in the family! gross.
lexie425 10
81 just shut up.
ActionManly 11
YDI for using "adorable."
Brave_Sir_Robin 4
Ah. Your cousin is SOOOO adorable! OP - Did you stick it in her pooper?
f_my_flip_life 5
Agreed!! At first I thought it was about a little girl until I read "at the bar". o_O
monzach 5
kinda makes OP seem like a child molester
growingupnextmon 3
My love for you is like diarrhea, its explosive and I just cant control it. =). Either way your definitely a smooth criminal.
xclegend613 0
i'm normally not a fan for using pick up lines but that sir has got to be the best. if you ever use that and she goes home with you your a champ. if i use it i will make sure i reference you
col535 0
that would make me have to shit like hell.
LEPOfficer 0
I like how you said "adorable" to keep people from flamin' you for thinking your cousin is hawt.
gooBUZZ 0
Agreed.
WokeUpThisMornin 0
Smooth
Mx_Rider 6
#6 win lol op dam son you suck at spitting game..and at youre cousin sickkk ... o w n e d. live and learn! :D
TJStarzZ 8
What kind of family are you from? Last time I went to a family reunion, there were cousins I hadn't seen since I was 5, and I STILL remember them. Close-knit families are ftw. :D