Today, I saw a cute girl at a bar and decided to go and chat her up. After charming her with my usual crap for a while, I told her she was really pretty, and asked for her number. She replied, "You asshole, I met you here a year ago and gave you my number, and you never called me." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my friend and I went to a bar for drinks. I noticed this cute girl and went over to say "Hi." I had a great conversation with her and I asked for her number before she left. She passed it to me on a piece of paper with instructions specifying for my friend to call her and not me. FML
Today, I saw a beautiful girl at the bar. I attempted to be friendly and hit her up for a chat. She called me a “creep” and told me to get lost. A few moments later, another guy does the exact same thing I did and she smiled and kept flirting. FML
Today, I saw a cute girl at a night club. When I approached her and introduced myself, she said "Don't you remember me? We danced here last weekend... but you were smashed that night". I cheekily replied "Oh really? That's hot, what happened next?" She said "You were hitting on me. So, I left." FML
Today, I saw a cute girl working register at my regular coffee shop and politely asked the her for her number. I was brutally rejected. A few minutes later, a douchebag with a popped collar approached her with a cheesy pickup line and left with not only her number, but a free frappe. FML
Today, I saw an adorable girl at the bar and I went to talk to her. I decided to use my cheesiest pick up line to make her laugh. After I said it, she knew who I was. It was my cousin I hadn't seen in 8 years. FML
Today, I met a cute girl at a dance club. I entered her number in my phone just before she left the club. With a proud smile, I turned the screen towards my buddy, showing off my accomplishment. Attempting to give me a friendly pat he accidentally closed my phone. I hadn't saved the number. FML
Today, I got this beautiful girl's number at a bar. After the night was over, I was pretty drunk and sent too many drunk Snapchats. When I'd sobered up, I deleted them. She asked why I deleted them, so I said because I was drunk and didn't remember what I sent. She hasn't messaged me back since. FML
Today, I was relaxing alone at a bar when I was approached by the most gorgeous woman I've ever seen. She was too good to be true, so I asked, "Is this some kind of a prank?" She immediately turned around and left. She thought I was calling her ugly. I'll never see her again. FML
Today, I asked a girl for her number and I wrote it down when she gave it to me. When I called her, it wasn't her. She'd given me a restaurant's phone number. FML
Today, I met a girl at a bar. After buying her a few drinks, we decided to head back to her place. Not wanting to leave either of our cars, I followed her home. While driving, she sent me text because she missed her exit. I tried to text her back something witty and instead rear ended her. FML
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Top comments
YLIF 0
I'm suprised she was even talking to you for a while if she was still pissed at you. But YDI, obviously.
r1cthj 0
wow man, wtf?
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Comments (152)
hbooks93 0
Haha "usual crap." You deserve it for having a planned-out bit for getting girls to sleep with you/give you their number. Like #22 so eloquently put it, is your "usual crap" as good as your memory?
Luxen 0
That's very Barney...
thelonelylurker 0
OOHHHHHHH!!! Bahahahaha. YDI though.
fmh123 0
LOL!!!!! Bahwwahahahawaha I could totally see it in my head I wonder what his response was lmfao
GFLiE 0
haha jestermonkey's soundin a little........jeaaaaaaalouuus!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ballafo 0
I see spittinn yo game playa that's all hoes r good fo lls
GFLiE 0
You commenters are all probably loser assholes who have nothing better to do than complain about other guys who are clearly either more attractive or more charming than you. Quit complaining about inflated egos. Confidence is a good thing when you're spittin yo game. Damn, get over the fact that our friend OP gets more pussy than you can ever dream of. Just my 2 cents.
sjd017 0
comment fail...
GFLiE 0
What's so fail about it, prick?
Anonymus7_fml 0
haha what a playa, and people, dont hate
justaquietghost 0
wow, that made me laugh. Thank you for being a jerk.
saze_fml 0
wow do u need to raise ur standards. she remembers u from a year ago?!