Today, my dormant eczema decided to come back with a vengeance - on my scrotum. I work in an open office and can't scratch unless I repeatedly run into the restroom. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I went to the doctor to inquire about the rash I've been getting in my underarms, behind my knees and sometimes on my face. Turns out I'm allergic to sweat. I'm a varsity rugby coach, gym teacher, and I just shelled out a stack of cash to get a sauna and steam room installed in my house. FML
Today, I was at work laminating a large photo. While I was doing this, I had a sudden itch on my nut sack. So I quickly scratched it away. When the customer came to pick up the print, I noticed that one of my pubic hairs had laminated itself on the cheek of the woman in the photograph. FML
Today, I woke up with the worst vaginal itching and swelling. I then find out it was brought on by my boyfriend's cheap brand of toilet paper. FML
Today, while I was eating spicy wings, I suddenly sneezed. I was sitting in front of a fan and effectively maced myself when my spicy sneeze blew back into my face and eyes. FML
Today, I tried to wash my cat in the shower, conveniently naked myself. He disapproved, scratching my man-parts and nicking a vein. I just got back from the hospital with an infection, swollen nuts, and a hole in my butt for which I had to get a shot of antibiotics. FML
Today, I was in the bathroom stall when a man made eye-contact with me through the crack in the door. I quickly looked away, but about a minute later I looked back to see if he was gone. He was still there and was actually trying to keep making eye-contact with me while I pooped. FML
Today, I was on a train, sitting next to an old man who was reading a newspaper. Suddenly, he sneezed without putting his hands over his nose. Instead of turning towards the window, he turned towards me. FML
Today, I was fired for having a haircut that was 'inappropriate for the workplace'. I have alopecia. My boss told me to stop making up excuses. FML
Today, I had to announce to the whole house that I was going the bathroom, because the lock on the door is broken. Before I had the chance to wipe, my dad loudly burst through the door, stark bollock naked, to take a shower. FML
Today, I actually took pleasure in sniffing my armpits after two days of not showering. FML
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Top comments
DooleyFTW 17
Or you could just embrace a role as the office sleazebag! Slapping asses and making dirty comments all while handling your crotch! Could be fun?
rein 8
That sucks balls.
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Comments (51)
Cowgirl9999 8
I have it too but not there... Try the baby eczema stuff. It works great!
gc327072 31
I would suppose not if you're a girl.
DarkDaedalus009 8
I scratch my balls all the time and i dont care what people say :)
Feared 9
Yeah that's all great and all, but how many friends do you have?
pokefan813 16
You scratch at job interviews too?
desireev 18
And that's the reason you're not allowed within 500 feet of a school... Or Chuck E Cheeze! :D
fuzz97 23
On 12's profile it says "ladies feel free to send me a message" Because all women want a man who scratches his balls in public and doesn't care what people think of it.
realeah 4
Taking itchy balls to a new level...
unfortunate_13 5
I'm sorry, that just sucks balls. FYL
esines 9
This comment looks awfully similar to number 1's.... Hmmmmm...
gc327072 31
This comment looks awfully similar to 21's, hmmmm...
Welshite 40
Don't be running into the bathroom too often OP, else rumors might start popping up.
klx125cross 9
Wow NUTS dude
pnutbutternjelly 15
I do not have a scrotum, but I do have eczema, and I think its a good thing that you can't scratch. the last thing you need is to scratch open the itchy bumps. Then you will have a bloody scrotum that is in constant pain. As uncomfortable as the itching is. it is still better than the alternative.
perdix 31
Put some Brillo in your undies and wiggle around a lot.
KingdomKey_ 8
Ouch..I have eczema too :/ but only on my fingers and in the crease of my forearm.
Addy414 12
I have it on my hands feet, legs, elbows and knees, no fun
j_cat187 20
I'm actually kind of glad I don't know what that is.
MichellinMan 20
It's like a rash.