Today, I was in the bathroom stall when a man made eye-contact with me through the crack in the door. I quickly looked away, but about a minute later I looked back to see if he was gone. He was still there and was actually trying to keep making eye-contact with me while I pooped. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was in a public restroom taking a dump. It's difficult for me to do it in public, so to make it easier I kept telling myself, "Nobody's here, you're all alone." I then heard, "No, you're not." I didn't realize I was saying it out loud, or that I wasn't alone. FML
Today, I was taking a dump in a porta-potty at a fair. I had the runs really bad. All I have to say is that it's tough to take a shit that seems never-ending while other people outside are bitching at you and hammering on the flimsy door. FML
Today, as always, my boyfriend has the ability to pop his eyeballs out of his eye sockets. He thought it'd be funny for me to wake up face-to-face with the disgusting sight. The shit in my bowels did an early Thanksgiving Day parade straight into my underwear. FML
Today, while on a date with my boyfriend, he broke up with me. The reason why? Because I took a dump in his bathroom and "that's inappropriate for girls." FML
Today, I was on a train, sitting next to an old man who was reading a newspaper. Suddenly, he sneezed without putting his hands over his nose. Instead of turning towards the window, he turned towards me. FML
Today, I was in the toilet. Some idiots thought it was funny to throw a water balloon into the cubicle. The balloon didn't pop, but fell in the toilet, sending my own urine onto my shorts. I had 4 hours left of school. FML
Today, a guy punched me in the subway for staring at his girlfriend. I had dark glasses on, and was fast asleep. FML
Today, I had to announce to the whole house that I was going the bathroom, because the lock on the door is broken. Before I had the chance to wipe, my dad loudly burst through the door, stark bollock naked, to take a shower. FML
Today, I realized I can tell which one of my 6 roommates has taken a dump, just based on the smell emanating from the toilet. FML
Today, my mother told my boyfriend a cute story about me when I was little. The one where my cousin and I were caught pooping in a urinal in the church basement. FML
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Top comments
Mirorbo 27
Creeper much? You should have kicked at the door and put a knot on his forehead...but that's just me.
tdub10 2
Thts a poopy tom instead of a peeping tom. Lmao
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Comments (85)
Mirorbo 27
Creeper much? You should have kicked at the door and put a knot on his forehead...but that's just me.
fanatic2232 5
This.
brennboo 3
I don't think the other guy was pressed up against the door...
Ben360 6
ydi for pooping in public
nerdsgetmehot 23
#18 When you gotta go, you gotta go...
ortega_fml 0
YDI for having to poop and YDI for having eyes.
blocparty 0
bombaclot on his face!!
ortega_fml 0
oh and fyi, you should of challenged him to a game of 'battle *****'
bre_zip_it_up13 11
bombaclot is a **** or pussy
iSitt 0
was he a republican senator ?
imsosleepy 9
Just stuff the cracks with toilet paper.
the_flirtt 0
haha ikr 51 ?
munny_fml 7
lmfao!
munny_fml 7
my comment was to #29
tweetbaby14 18
you should've put your butt up to the crack where his eye is and pooped.
CitrusGirl 0
Eternal win by 51!
sheribb 5
that is beyond wrong WTF is happening to people!! >:|
omfgrofl1337 0
51 just made my day
notsocrazee 0
JAMAICA MON!!!!!!!
roryrobotic 5
*****
brennboo 3
Creeper status right there
uchihastephy88 25
I want to know what you said that got you moderated
tdub10 2
Thts a poopy tom instead of a peeping tom. Lmao
wolfshadow 4
Hehe. I loĺd
SamJerkinGirkins 0
Ok, that was a lame comment but it made me laugh really loudly. xD
MaCOOLiT 5
pooping tom would have been more clever.
toppers2468 0
pedifile
MissGrinch 4
pedophile*
yuhimjesus 0
this
ILovesMahBridge 0
If OP is under the age of 18 yeah... And is anybody else annoyed about how openly words like "pedo" and "rape" are used? Today the words appearently have different meanings than they did when i was a kid.
FFML_314 12
I'm curious about this as well.
Biancaisbizarre 0
I think #42 means that they're used wrongly, jokingly and too commonly nowadays. Some examples . . • #7 called the creeper a pedophile, but he didn't know the man or the Op's age. • A lot of people scream out the word rape in public as if it's a joke. • Some people confuse the words rapist, pedophile, creeper, etc. with each other; thus using them wrong.
FFML_314 12
I think people have been doing that for a long time. I don't think that's a new development.
Biancaisbizarre 0
Eh, maybe, maybe not.
FFML_314 12
People have more of an opportunity for more people to see it, that's all. I know plenty of people that are older that will say it was pretty common in their day.
Biancaisbizarre 0
It was pretty common to wrongly or jokingly use those words in their day? If so, I think that's really sad. I feel like those words aren't as serious as they're meant to be anymore. In my opinion, words like that shouldn't be used jokingly, and most people should know exactly what they mean.
FFML_314 12
Agreed. People are ignorant.
fspencerb 1
actually, standing for a minute looking at someone through the crack of a bathroom stall can be considered a felony.
ItalianFilipino 0
... punch him out?
renr17 0
I bet you winked at him.
Sharpie23 7
I would start jacking off and bust one through the crack into his eye hahahah
yuhimjesus 0
BOOM HEADSHOT
A_50cal_goes 0
40 stole my comment :(
Shookitup 0
haha, HEAD shot XD
jinxthejinx 0
I'm sure that exactly what the guy was looking for.
Kylias 6
#40 made my life.
MotoXCross_22 0
epic win #40 lmfao
ibladesi 0
He probably wasn't looking at your eyes. Did you acknowledge this weirdness with a strange, puzzled look back at him? or is that not proper manners when eye gazing through the glory hole? lets face facts, you were hogging the glory hole and he was getting impatient. rude, very rude.
nerdsgetmehot 23
Accidentally making eye contact with someone at inopportune moments is awkward to the max.
MissGrinch 4
-accidentally makes eye contact with you-
nerdsgetmehot 23
#16 *Looks away awkwardly*
FFML_314 12
Is it awkward to stare incessantly?
nerdsgetmehot 23
#37 I guess it depends on whether or not the incessant staring is wanted... :P
FFML_314 12
Well, is it? I've been staring at you for awhile now.
FFML_314 12
I'm going to take that as a yes! Muahaha!
FFML_314 12
OK! Anyone else want to stare at me, while staring at nerds? If you stare long enough, we'll take off our.......shoes!
FFML_314 12
I know. That's why I want to take them off. My feet are getting sweaty! I bet you're getting really hot and bothered now, aren't you?
Phustercluck 11
Will you do it slowly...and make it sexy.
FFML_314 12
Is there a way to take your shoe off sexy?
CitrusGirl 0
22, you're really pretty and I swear I have that same shirt. Just thought I'd let you know :)
nerdsgetmehot 23
Whoa! I love how this whole conversation took place while I was obliviously and blissfully asleep. Haha. :P FFML_314, you can stare at me as long as you'd like! Although I don't mean that in a creepy way...I think. Thanks, CitrusGirl! :D It's actually a dress...
tdub10 2
You shld've started flingin shit at him