Today, my dormant eczema decided to come back with a vengeance - on my scrotum. I work in an open office and can't scratch unless I repeatedly run into the restroom. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I went to the doctor to inquire about the rash I've been getting in my underarms, behind my knees and sometimes on my face. Turns out I'm allergic to sweat. I'm a varsity rugby coach, gym teacher, and I just shelled out a stack of cash to get a sauna and steam room installed in my house. FML
Today, I was at work laminating a large photo. While I was doing this, I had a sudden itch on my nut sack. So I quickly scratched it away. When the customer came to pick up the print, I noticed that one of my pubic hairs had laminated itself on the cheek of the woman in the photograph. FML
Today, I woke up with the worst vaginal itching and swelling. I then find out it was brought on by my boyfriend's cheap brand of toilet paper. FML
Today, while I was eating spicy wings, I suddenly sneezed. I was sitting in front of a fan and effectively maced myself when my spicy sneeze blew back into my face and eyes. FML
Today, I tried to wash my cat in the shower, conveniently naked myself. He disapproved, scratching my man-parts and nicking a vein. I just got back from the hospital with an infection, swollen nuts, and a hole in my butt for which I had to get a shot of antibiotics. FML
Today, I was in the bathroom stall when a man made eye-contact with me through the crack in the door. I quickly looked away, but about a minute later I looked back to see if he was gone. He was still there and was actually trying to keep making eye-contact with me while I pooped. FML
Today, I was on a train, sitting next to an old man who was reading a newspaper. Suddenly, he sneezed without putting his hands over his nose. Instead of turning towards the window, he turned towards me. FML
Today, I was fired for having a haircut that was 'inappropriate for the workplace'. I have alopecia. My boss told me to stop making up excuses. FML
Today, I had to announce to the whole house that I was going the bathroom, because the lock on the door is broken. Before I had the chance to wipe, my dad loudly burst through the door, stark bollock naked, to take a shower. FML
Today, I actually took pleasure in sniffing my armpits after two days of not showering. FML
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Top comments
DooleyFTW 17
Or you could just embrace a role as the office sleazebag! Slapping asses and making dirty comments all while handling your crotch! Could be fun?
rein 8
That sucks balls.
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Comments (51)
sajupt 17
Try zole f. Heard that it works...
BlackBlazeCobra 16
Break out the calamine lotion!
mimiminx 23
Speaking as a nurse, you need to put on emollient cream constantly all day. Do not let the skin dry out. Don't scratch, as this causes the skin to become inflamed and broken.
sacmaster 11
U've always got jill ;)
sacmaster 11
Sorry this was meant for a different fml!!
SquishFish 15
You just need a very long trench coat. Or as also known, a masturbating in public coat
CrimsonViolets 11
I can picture the OP running to the bathroom yelling "my balls itch" XD
smoshianforever 0
You sure it's eczema? O_e
baileymarie102 6
Aw.. I'm sorry, that really must suck. I have eczema so I know exactly how that is.
jewelsa 4
Lotion?
Pigpig1234 10
Oh man I have eczema too it sucks