Intimacy Dates that matter

Dates that matter

mee - 19/02/2012 11:37 - Australia

Today, my boyfriend sang "Happy birthday" to my vagina. It was my birthday last month and he forgot, but he remembers the date of the first time he went down on me. FML

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Chinese New Year: Dragons and Laughter
Celebrate with stories where tradition and humor meet for a colorful Chinese New Year. …

blower - 11/04/2011 04:01 - United States

Today, my boyfriend actually remembered our anniversary. Not our anniversary of being together, which he forgot last month, but the anniversary of him getting his first blow job from me. FML

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Our anniversary

- 27/12/2019 20:00

Today, my boyfriend actually remembered our anniversary. Not our anniversary of being together, which he forgot last month, but the anniversary of him getting his first blowjob from me. FML

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Thanks, babe

Anonymous - 14/12/2020 17:58 - Canada - Moncton

Today, it’s my birthday. My boyfriend of almost 4 years completely forgot. FML

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cek4uytp - 25/06/2011 06:02 - United States

Today, my boyfriend caught me in a lie about being on my period. He memorized my menstrual cycle, but still forgot that today is my birthday. FML

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zippersaremoreimportantthansentiments - 01/02/2014 08:11 - United States - Montgomery

Today, for our anniversary, I sang my boyfriend a heartfelt, self-written song. The first thing he said when I finished was "Your fly is open." FML

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Forgotten - 09/08/2010 14:38 - Canada

Today, my boyfriend forgot our anniversary. But it's okay; I wasn't expecting anything after he forgot my birthday, Valentine's Day, and my name. FML

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Anonymous - 16/01/2011 02:33 - United States

Today, we were celebrating my birthday and my boyfriend thought it would be funny to shove my face in the cake. While the candles were still lit. FML

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Brain worms

JaneSimple - 16/08/2020 14:02

Today, my fiancé forgot my birthday. I did however remember to tell him we were sending his mother flowers, for her birthday, which falls a week after mine. We've been together 10 years. I sent her flowers on my birthday. FML

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Wawawiwa - 21/07/2010 23:44 - Namibia

Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. After removing my underwear, he started singing "In the jungle, the mighty jungle..." FML

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No gifts for you

Birthdaypoop - 20/06/2022 12:00

Today, it’s my birthday. Not only did my boyfriend of 5 years forget, when I reminded him, he said very unenthusiastically, “Oh, Happy Birthday.” When I said, “That’s it?” he got annoyed and said,“Well, what else do you want me to tell you?” FML

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drawmesunshine 17

Sunday 19 February 2012 19:20

In his defense, he didn't play an active role in your birth, making it harder to remember.

fthislyfe 22

Sunday 19 February 2012 19:24

Still a better love story that twilight

babelord 0

Sunday 19 February 2012 21:10

for next year

iloveweed69 7

Sunday 19 February 2012 21:12

Well happy birthday to your ******~

Tommay186 7

Sunday 19 February 2012 21:18

Ahahahahhahaahha. FYL OP

AgaveLoco 5

Sunday 19 February 2012 21:23

I hope did not take photos of the birthday party

Enslaved 36

Sunday 19 February 2012 22:02

Was there cake?

j_cat187 19

Monday 20 February 2012 4:06

No, although there was pie.

bubo_fml 10

Sunday 19 February 2012 22:08

Return the favor to him by singing happy birthday to his dick. If you don't get a standing ovation for your performance, kick it!

Unlucky_Gun 0

Sunday 19 February 2012 22:26

Hahaha

themaddoctor 11

Sunday 19 February 2012 22:41

Return the favor by remembering his birthday and say your on your period.

bizarre_ftw 21

Monday 20 February 2012 0:11

Please tell me this is an attempt at trolling >.< Seriously please

buck33 14

Sunday 19 February 2012 22:57

18 - no, it's relevant. The end.

fthislyfe 22

Sunday 19 February 2012 23:28

83: No it's not. And you're retarded

Miscellaneous My ex Stalker Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, after 25 years living with my dad, who is highly allergic to cats, I was finally able to adopt two kittens to live in my new place, just like I have always wanted. Guess who else is highly allergic to cats? Me, it seems. FML

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Today, I saw an elderly woman in need of help of crossing a street. I helped her across. On the way she just about fell and held onto me to keep from hitting the ground. After she left on her bus I reached for my wallet. It was gone. I had just been robbed by a 70 year old. FML

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Today, my boyfriend has always been a huge fan of war video games. After training for weeks, I challenged him at Battlefield 4. He lost. I lost him. FML

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Today, I fainted in my bathroom, full on naked and sprawled out on my bathroom floor. When I came to, I was in pain from landing on my side and very disoriented. I sat up and could see my husband just roll over in bed and go to sleep. He didn’t even ask me if I was OK. FML

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Today, my grandma begins her second week of unemployment. So far, she has paced outside my door, randomly comes into my room, and I woke up this morning to find a Bible on my bed. I now look forward to going to work every day. FML

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Today, I mistook a mannequin in a store for a real person and apologized when I bumped into it. A staff member saw and said, "Don’t worry, he’s used to it." FML

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