Today, my boyfriend sang "Happy birthday" to my vagina. It was my birthday last month and he forgot, but he remembers the date of the first time he went down on me. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boyfriend actually remembered our anniversary. Not our anniversary of being together, which he forgot last month, but the anniversary of him getting his first blow job from me. FML
Today, my boyfriend actually remembered our anniversary. Not our anniversary of being together, which he forgot last month, but the anniversary of him getting his first blowjob from me. FML
Today, it’s my birthday. My boyfriend of almost 4 years completely forgot. FML
Today, my boyfriend caught me in a lie about being on my period. He memorized my menstrual cycle, but still forgot that today is my birthday. FML
Today, for our anniversary, I sang my boyfriend a heartfelt, self-written song. The first thing he said when I finished was "Your fly is open." FML
Today, my boyfriend forgot our anniversary. But it's okay; I wasn't expecting anything after he forgot my birthday, Valentine's Day, and my name. FML
Today, we were celebrating my birthday and my boyfriend thought it would be funny to shove my face in the cake. While the candles were still lit. FML
Today, my fiancé forgot my birthday. I did however remember to tell him we were sending his mother flowers, for her birthday, which falls a week after mine. We've been together 10 years. I sent her flowers on my birthday. FML
Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. After removing my underwear, he started singing "In the jungle, the mighty jungle..." FML
Today, it’s my birthday. Not only did my boyfriend of 5 years forget, when I reminded him, he said very unenthusiastically, “Oh, Happy Birthday.” When I said, “That’s it?” he got annoyed and said,“Well, what else do you want me to tell you?” FML
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Top comments
drawmesunshine 17
In his defense, he didn't play an active role in your birth, making it harder to remember.
fthislyfe 22
Still a better love story that twilight
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Comments (87)
randomness247 4
Dangit! I was just about to say that.
reenkaur 7
aww. i feel bad that he forgot your bday...but ehat he did instead is cute too. lol very innovative :-D
fthislyfe 22
This is a very thing to say on certain occasions but it was absolutely irrelevant here. For example, a guy has sex with a girl and the girl dumps him the next day and he'll be like, doesn't matter (that she dumped me) had sex.
greatinbed 0
Thats hilarious(: I have a question how do you set a picture for your profile??
drawmesunshine 17
You send a self-addressed, stamped envelope with the picture you want to NASA. When they get the picture, the review board decides whether or not it is acceptable. If denied, they lace the envelope with anthrax and mail it back to you. If accepted, they burn the picture on an alter amidst decapitated sheep and other offerings. Then the alien overlords email the picture to the FML mods who change it for you. It's an extensive process that could take years. Good luck.
Swiftly 0
^^^Seems legit
xxCandyKissxx 1
Well first you have to publicize your profile sweetie :)
CaptainPickles72 18
Hmm... a girl who is 14 (or at least that's what her profile says) with the profile name of 'greatinbed'. Oh, never mind, you said your ex-boyfriend picked out the name "since he knows". ... I hate my generation. Show some class little girl. To add more insult to insult. Camo is not a color, it's a color pattern.
Sirin_fml 47
Mail your photo and credit card details to the Church of Sirintology. We will take your money and laugh at you, and stuff.
drawmesunshine 17
66, you said everything I was thinking. I like you. And "greatinbed", if you were my daughter, I'd whoop you up one side and down the other. You are a kid. You need to work on having modesty and self-respect.
soupisyummy 13
Made my day.
HateLife66 0
I smell fish lol
PandaPandamoneum 0
What chu order? Fish filet?
tennisrapper1 14
Well, vaginas are attractive to straight men! I don't blame him whatsoever.
toenibbler 14
At least he remembered one "special" day right?
ohyess909 0
lol
studdmuffin1990 7
Take the good with the bad! Who gives a Sh** when u were born! He remembered a special moment in Ur relationship. I would just b glad he likes to go down on u haha
courtneyw32 0
Good point!
studdmuffin1990 7
I like girls that agree with me haha feel free to contact me (no creepiness intended) haha
Dirty_Minded_FML 2
You should have fanny farted (queefed) in his face. That'll teach him for forgetting your birthday
hoodyNOT2shoes 0
Hahahaha. It would teach him a lesson alright or break up with her.:/
choshaki 8
Atleast he remembered something. :P
studdmuffin1990 7
She gets it
CoolBreezeKing 8
Damn I was going to say that ? lol
BuckyChemist 5
No kidding right?!
truegirl21 2
Something is better than nothing! He loves being with you or he would do that! So credit to him