Today, my boyfriend sang "Happy birthday" to my vagina. It was my birthday last month and he forgot, but he remembers the date of the first time he went down on me. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boyfriend actually remembered our anniversary. Not our anniversary of being together, which he forgot last month, but the anniversary of him getting his first blow job from me. FML
Today, my boyfriend actually remembered our anniversary. Not our anniversary of being together, which he forgot last month, but the anniversary of him getting his first blowjob from me. FML
Today, it’s my birthday. My boyfriend of almost 4 years completely forgot. FML
Today, my boyfriend caught me in a lie about being on my period. He memorized my menstrual cycle, but still forgot that today is my birthday. FML
Today, for our anniversary, I sang my boyfriend a heartfelt, self-written song. The first thing he said when I finished was "Your fly is open." FML
Today, my boyfriend forgot our anniversary. But it's okay; I wasn't expecting anything after he forgot my birthday, Valentine's Day, and my name. FML
Today, we were celebrating my birthday and my boyfriend thought it would be funny to shove my face in the cake. While the candles were still lit. FML
Today, my fiancé forgot my birthday. I did however remember to tell him we were sending his mother flowers, for her birthday, which falls a week after mine. We've been together 10 years. I sent her flowers on my birthday. FML
Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. After removing my underwear, he started singing "In the jungle, the mighty jungle..." FML
Today, it’s my birthday. Not only did my boyfriend of 5 years forget, when I reminded him, he said very unenthusiastically, “Oh, Happy Birthday.” When I said, “That’s it?” he got annoyed and said,“Well, what else do you want me to tell you?” FML
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Top comments
drawmesunshine 17
In his defense, he didn't play an active role in your birth, making it harder to remember.
fthislyfe 22
Still a better love story that twilight
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Comments (87)
sunflower150 4
Your boyfriend is a disgusting pig. I would totally dump him if I were you.
Krilleee 5
Someone didn't get laid.
freakypundit 4
Do you let him go down on you only on birthdays? ;)
hahaleym 0
This FML is really fake lol, my girlfriend told me not to say this because she said I am gonna get banned
antwon86 4
#18/84 is the biggest idiot I have ever seen. That comment is completely relevant and you have no clue what the meaning of it is if you think otherwise. Go back to your tent in the desert.
HannahWho 8
Depending on how long you have been together it could be understandable he would forget. Men tend to focus on the things that matter and I have found a lot of grown men treat their birthday as forgettable since they are grown. You want him to remember, put a calander on the fridge and make plans to go out.
docgunney 0
Get rid of that SOB
anappleaday 0
In addition to my previous comment, I said that because I'M a girl. I just didn't understand why a guy would be willing to put his mouth there, jeez.
glittercookies 12
Same like girls are willing to put their mouth on a guy. Not a big deal.
iamkeysersoze_fml 5
That part is irrelevant, the important part is the reasons for him putting his mouth down there.
Leftoverjello 6
117: to give their partners lots of pleasure. Just because a guy isn't getting direct stimulation from something doesn't mean they're not enjoying it unless they're really shitty and selfish in bed.
Rocky007 15
Did it sing back?
HockeyLover23 3
That's kinda funny
buck33 14
Thank you 111! I thought 18/84's cleverness had beaten me.