Today, I'm heading towards my car clutching a bunch of flowers for my girlfriend, when along comes a sweet old lady who says: "it's not flowers she wants, it's some lovin'!". The elderly sure aren't what they used to be. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I brought my girlfriend flowers. All she managed to do was to say, "It’s been a year since you brought me flowers." FML
Today, I bought some flowers. As I was checking out, the cashier asked, "Aww, these for your mom? How sweet." I responded they were for a girl I liked. She laughed and said, "Sorry…" FML
Today, I called the florist and ordered a flower arrangement for my grandma, who I was told was sick. I said I didn't know what to get her, so just to send her something nice. I got a call from my mom calling me an inconsiderate bastard. They sent my grandma forget-me-nots. She has Alzheimer's. FML
Today, I held a door open for a sweet old lady with a walker. After she went through the door, she turned and said, "That's not how you're gonna get into my pants, son." FML
Today, on the way out to buy groceries, my boyfriend asked if I'd like him to buy some of my favourite flowers. Happy with his rare show of affection, I said yes. When he returned, he gave me a bag of our usual brand of flour and laughed hysterically in my face. FML
Today, I got flowers from a secret admirer. Turns out they were from my sister's in-laws who own a flower shop. Apparently, everyone feels bad that I'm single and they are convinced I'm gonna die alone. FML
Today, I had to drive my girlfriend to the hospital because she had a severe allergic reaction to the flowers I brought her. FML
Today, I sent the girl I like flowers, only to have her later post a picture of them online, saying, "Ha! When losers send you flowers." FML
Today, the guy I like asked me what he should do for the girl he has a crush on. I told him to give her flowers and tell her how he feels. Later that day my doorbell rang, and he stood there holding flowers. He said the magical words, "My car broke down, can you give me a lift?" FML
Today, I got flowers sent to my work, I happily opened them in front of my co-workers thinking they were from my crush, I open the card to see "Love you, from mom". My mother thinks my love life is so pathetic, thats she needs to send me flowers to cheer me up. FML
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Top comments
shrillace 0
The 20-somethings of the '60s are the 60-somethings of the 2000s. Don't forget that.
kottdawg 0
HAHAHAHA old people do know whats best
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Comments (41)
Eir_fml 1
You should have told her the flowers were for your mother. Alternatively, what if they were? That would have sucked.
Mattxy8 5
How is this in any way shape or form a FML?
Ximmie 0
AHAHA!!! Amazing. :)
Sgt_Schadenfreud 0
I love pensioners.
snoopy24_fml 0
HAHA wow...
kottdawg 0
HAHAHAHA old people do know whats best
pinkfrenchrose 5
Sounds like something my grandma would say. My grandma is crazy. :)
shrillace 0
The 20-somethings of the '60s are the 60-somethings of the 2000s. Don't forget that.
SteppenBeatle 3
Yes. Awesome
Empleh 4
Listen to your elders.
maggiewalters 17
well, she's right!
glamourful 0
how is this a FML??? That's ******* awesome!
pothopper 0
MLIA !!
HK416_fml 0
I concurr