Today, my fiancé and I were fooling around when his foreskin ripped and bled all over the place. After a trip to the emergency room, the doctor told us no sex for six weeks to let it heal. We're getting married and going on our honeymoon in two weeks. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I got to see my fiancé for the first time in 3 months. While we were having sex for the first time, he slipped out and slammed into the back of my vagina, tearing it open. Now I won't stop bleeding, it hurts to pee, and we can't have sex. I won't see him for another 2 months after this. FML
Today, I'm on my honeymoon. My husband and I cannot consummate our marriage, because his penis has an open wound due to… vigorous masturbation. FML
Today, I had surgery on my "girl parts" and can't have sex for six weeks. My boyfriend sees no need to spend any time with me until I heal up. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I decided to lose our virginity. When he saw blood, he panicked and started crying, convinced that he was bleeding out. FML
Today, I was fooling around with my new girlfriend. I guess she'd never been with an uncircumcised man before, because before I knew it I had a frenulum tear and had to go to the ER. FML
Today, me and my boyfriend had sex but stopped when I felt pain downstairs. That evening he wanted me to go to the emergency room but I wanted to sleep it off. Turned out I needed surgery. One of my fallopian tubes had ripped. The sex was so rough, I got an intravenous hemorrhage. FML
Today, I had to take my fiancé to the hospital so they could remove a tampon applicator that he claimed he somehow "fell onto". It was lodged up his nostril. I'm marrying this man in a week. FML
Today, I found out that I am bleeding from my cervix and must refrain from having sex for the next two weeks. My fiancé pointedly asked if my cervix has anything to do with my mouth. FML
Today, I gave my boyfriend a spontaneous blowjob while we were watching TV. After he finished, I tried to pull a sexy move I'd seen in a porno by zipping his pants back up with my teeth. His foreskin got caught in the zipper and we spent the next few hours in the emergency room. FML
Today, I got into an accident on my motorcycle. When I told my wife that the doctor said I couldn't have sex for two weeks, she couldn't contain her joy. FML
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Top comments
DirtyDiana_fml 0
lmao damn bitch dont bite.
xMrAndyTranx 4
YDI. You scraped his man meat with your teeth. SMFH
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Comments (214)
a192837465 0
well then we should meet baby lol jk
Hipsus 0
Funny thing. None of my male friends are circumcised. I have never even seen a circumcised penis. Not even once. And I've seen plenty of penises. Seems to me that this circumcision-thingy is more popular over there in the us of a than here in europe. Circumcision - ok, if you really think it's necessary. I don't think it is. If I ever get sons they will have to make that decision themselves, I'm not gonna do it for them, never. And - sorry guys - a penis IS ugly. But so is a ******. That's not the point, though, is it? I'm just happy as long as I can have sex. And as for this FML; OP should stop complaining, 6 weeks isn't that long a time. Focus on getting your poor blokes penis healed first and try not to cut it open again.
JorgeM 0
Er, circumcised men get HIV. There are thousands of dead American circumcised men. There are Israeli men who have HIV. But if you are so stupid as to think that your stone age blood ritual is going to magically protect you from HIV, please, have all the unprotected sex you want.
Hugh7 0
What a lot of ignorance is here! If her fiance got circumcised, he'd still have to protect the wound for six weeks, but in fact they don't have to avoid sex if they use condoms. In all probability, she didn't tear his foreskin, she tore his frenulum (banjo-string), the membrane linking his foreskin to the underside of his glans. It can bleed like anything, but it heals, and then it's all right. He certainly doesn't need to be circumcised. Nor does anyone else without pressing medical need.
ninjb 0
Oh good lord! That sounds painful to even think of! I'm now AFRAID to get a *******!
ninjb 0
and to contrary belief, you CAN get back your foreksin. I think there's a surgical procedure.
Bucinka 5
Guess he'll have to double down on the ***********. Congratulations.
Bucinka 5
which is not the purpose or result of male circumcision, and really the two processes are so different they should probably have different names. ----- @#81: They do have different names. FGI is also referred to as infibulation.
NiNjAMoNsTeR 0
That ******* suck FYL i say DO IT ANYWAYS
ItsASecretShh 0
serves him right for not getting circumcised!