Today, my fiancé and I were fooling around when his foreskin ripped and bled all over the place. After a trip to the emergency room, the doctor told us no sex for six weeks to let it heal. We're getting married and going on our honeymoon in two weeks. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I got to see my fiancé for the first time in 3 months. While we were having sex for the first time, he slipped out and slammed into the back of my vagina, tearing it open. Now I won't stop bleeding, it hurts to pee, and we can't have sex. I won't see him for another 2 months after this. FML
Today, I'm on my honeymoon. My husband and I cannot consummate our marriage, because his penis has an open wound due to… vigorous masturbation. FML
Today, I had surgery on my "girl parts" and can't have sex for six weeks. My boyfriend sees no need to spend any time with me until I heal up. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I decided to lose our virginity. When he saw blood, he panicked and started crying, convinced that he was bleeding out. FML
Today, I was fooling around with my new girlfriend. I guess she'd never been with an uncircumcised man before, because before I knew it I had a frenulum tear and had to go to the ER. FML
Today, me and my boyfriend had sex but stopped when I felt pain downstairs. That evening he wanted me to go to the emergency room but I wanted to sleep it off. Turned out I needed surgery. One of my fallopian tubes had ripped. The sex was so rough, I got an intravenous hemorrhage. FML
Today, I had to take my fiancé to the hospital so they could remove a tampon applicator that he claimed he somehow "fell onto". It was lodged up his nostril. I'm marrying this man in a week. FML
Today, I found out that I am bleeding from my cervix and must refrain from having sex for the next two weeks. My fiancé pointedly asked if my cervix has anything to do with my mouth. FML
Today, I gave my boyfriend a spontaneous blowjob while we were watching TV. After he finished, I tried to pull a sexy move I'd seen in a porno by zipping his pants back up with my teeth. His foreskin got caught in the zipper and we spent the next few hours in the emergency room. FML
Today, I got into an accident on my motorcycle. When I told my wife that the doctor said I couldn't have sex for two weeks, she couldn't contain her joy. FML
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Top comments
DirtyDiana_fml 0
lmao damn bitch dont bite.
xMrAndyTranx 4
YDI. You scraped his man meat with your teeth. SMFH
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Comments (214)
jpest17 5
# 73 suck it up tons of people don't get to deside to live or not but they still get aborted!
dochoc_fml 0
get that shit circumcised!
martic835 2
I bet your boyfriend's shlong smells like fish.
IIKiAII_LogiK 0
HA.
brittania22 0
why are there any uncircumcised guys out there? it's nasty unhealthy and gross. that just sucks though.
as566 0
@#132, No it's not and no it's not. And yeah, that does suck.
kev08326 1
circumcision ftw
ryguy997 0
this is a repeat fml.
OhDamSucks 0
dam. that sucks. steroids will help it heel faster
joeyslilcocsukr 0
there are plenty of men who are uncircumcised and have "normal" looking penises
bennyboy111 7
uncircumcised ftw more pleasure even if it does hav more chance of spreading stds use a condom! more an fhl ain't any dirtier if it's washed tha skin underneath is supposed 2 be moist!