Today, my family and I were laying on my parents' bed watching a movie. My dad wrapped his arm around me and began rubbing my shoulder. That would have been fine, if it actually had been my shoulder and not my boob. Needless to say, we were both mortified. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was talking to my grandmother, who was lying down on the couch under a blanket watching TV. As I was leaving, I said "See you later Nana," and patted her on the shoulder. Her shoulder was soft, and moved more than I expected. It was her boob. I felt up my grandma. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I took a nap on my couch. She used my arm as a pillow, and everything was pretty peaceful, until she moved over and practically dislocated my shoulder. My screams of pain woke her, which was apparently an "asshole move" on my part. FML
Today, I rested my face against my boyfriend's shoulder while we watched a movie. I didn’t realize he had put Icy Hot on the same shoulder right before I sat down. I cried in pain. He cried with laughter. FML
Today, my dad was on the couch and I sat down next to him. As I was reading a text message, I saw my dad's fat stomach sticking out so I patted it. After the first two pats, I realized I was patting in the wrong place. I patted the family jewels. FML
Today, I went to watch a movie. In the middle of it, I accidentally fell asleep. Minutes later, I awoke on a stranger's shoulder. He was caressing my hair. FML
Today, I was on a date, and I went to put my arm around her, trying to be romantic, but my coordination went straight to hell. Instead of her shoulder, I ended up accidentally grabbing her tit. FML
Today, I was watching TV with my grandpa, and he stopped flipping channels on a movie with a hot naked chick getting oiled down. Suddenly the remote landed on my stomach as my mom and grandma walked in. They yelled at me for being a pervert, while my grandpa sat and chuckled. FML
Today, I went to see a movie with my parents. During a sex scene, my dad covered my eyes. I'm married and have 2 kids. FML
Today, I was watching a movie alone with my girlfriend. She shifted positions as I put my arm around her, and ended up kneeing me in the crotch and shouldering me in the throat simultaneously. FML
Today, while at a football game, I had my arm around my girlfriend. We were really close and I was just about to kiss her when suddenly her phone rang. It was her dad, telling her he's watching. FML
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Top comments
fazzems 21
I'd like to unread this ty
12ig12 12
I could just imagine both of your expressions as you noticed. Scared4Life
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Comments (79)
LiveForSenpai 13
I guess you don't have one of those creepy Daddy fetishes then... XD
halberd 2
I'd like to unread this comment ty
joshklander 11
Wow! I'm blind, and pretty sure that even I wouldn't make that mistake! What the ****? :-)
worldclassrager 41
Perhaps he should sit next to your mother...
titsnbootay 6
When she kinda liked it
Witchylady 18
Yuck. How could he not have known. Awkward and gross
brickshedloski 9
It's pretty weird that you're all on your parents' bed, to be honest.
sweetpotato301 7
How is it weird?! My siblings and I all used to cram onto our parents' bed on Christmas day. Stop trying to sexualise something that is completely normal for a lot of families.
pagefault2k 8
As a father of an adult daughter I'm vicariously mortified. However, if OP says it was an accident we should trust her judgement. FYL to both of you.
PikarooArtist 17
Whelp, time to wipe my memory of reading this FML
writerchic85 26
Scenario for the worlds worst porno
OPGDivinity 11
Go to HE