Today, my family and I were laying on my parents' bed watching a movie. My dad wrapped his arm around me and began rubbing my shoulder. That would have been fine, if it actually had been my shoulder and not my boob. Needless to say, we were both mortified. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was talking to my grandmother, who was lying down on the couch under a blanket watching TV. As I was leaving, I said "See you later Nana," and patted her on the shoulder. Her shoulder was soft, and moved more than I expected. It was her boob. I felt up my grandma. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I took a nap on my couch. She used my arm as a pillow, and everything was pretty peaceful, until she moved over and practically dislocated my shoulder. My screams of pain woke her, which was apparently an "asshole move" on my part. FML
Today, I rested my face against my boyfriend's shoulder while we watched a movie. I didn’t realize he had put Icy Hot on the same shoulder right before I sat down. I cried in pain. He cried with laughter. FML
Today, my dad was on the couch and I sat down next to him. As I was reading a text message, I saw my dad's fat stomach sticking out so I patted it. After the first two pats, I realized I was patting in the wrong place. I patted the family jewels. FML
Today, I went to watch a movie. In the middle of it, I accidentally fell asleep. Minutes later, I awoke on a stranger's shoulder. He was caressing my hair. FML
Today, I was on a date, and I went to put my arm around her, trying to be romantic, but my coordination went straight to hell. Instead of her shoulder, I ended up accidentally grabbing her tit. FML
Today, I was watching TV with my grandpa, and he stopped flipping channels on a movie with a hot naked chick getting oiled down. Suddenly the remote landed on my stomach as my mom and grandma walked in. They yelled at me for being a pervert, while my grandpa sat and chuckled. FML
Today, I went to see a movie with my parents. During a sex scene, my dad covered my eyes. I'm married and have 2 kids. FML
Today, I was watching a movie alone with my girlfriend. She shifted positions as I put my arm around her, and ended up kneeing me in the crotch and shouldering me in the throat simultaneously. FML
Today, while at a football game, I had my arm around my girlfriend. We were really close and I was just about to kiss her when suddenly her phone rang. It was her dad, telling her he's watching. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
fazzems 21
I'd like to unread this ty
12ig12 12
I could just imagine both of your expressions as you noticed. Scared4Life
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (79)
fazzems 21
I'd like to unread this ty
swegdood 15
what's that profile pic?
Sam_Dchi 23
that's a pokemon obviously!!
domolovesyoshi 33
It looks like a wolf pup
mfmylifesrsly 30
I think it's a baby red panda
blazerman_fml 17
A baby Growlithe :3
Steffi 26
I google image searched it, it's a baby red panda :D
12ig12 12
I could just imagine both of your expressions as you noticed. Scared4Life
riyaap13 17
** scarred :)
soapysurprise 12
I would imagine they were scared and scarred.
mjtg25 3
what I want to know is this: I could see how he didn't notice right away, bit how could she not? but then think about this tho she never said she didn't. any ideas for explanations there?
EnJey0 19
I hope it wasn't for more than a second... Breasts and shoulders should feel very different, if that's not the case for you consult your nearest Doctor
PennyLane27 32
Seriously. I'm concerned for you. The fact he "began rubbing" implies he didn't immediately stop. And shoulders and boobs feel nothing alike. Make a doctors appointment for (insert generic symptom, like constant headaches), and report it/talk to them about it. Or talk to a school counselor.
interesting33 37
I don't know, if they had a certain bra on it could have felt hard enough to be mistaken for a shoulder
sweetpotato301 7
Oh don't be ridiculous 26. I'm sure OP would be quite aware if her dad was the type to do this. She made it quite clear in the FML that it was an accident.
sweetpotato301 7
Like someone has already pointed out, if you're wearing a particularly padded bra I can see how you might mistake it for a shoulder if you're only touching it lightly.
Bunnyluver 20
I don't think it goes that deep. He probably wanted to Netflix'nChill with mom, but didn't realize it wasn't her.
TxAsMaD3 19
Well I could've gone without reading this story fyl OP
senor_octubre 24
Put your family to the test! Seriously though FYL how do you mistake someone's boob for a shoulder??
musoboy 22
See the thread under #3's comment.
dramaelf 37
You must have some really squishy shoulders or some really hard boobs.
ThrottleJockey 36
Shoulders like fresh baked bread and boobs like cannons on a battleship.
Nyattack 14
This happened with my sister once, I had my hand on what I thought was her shoulder but quickly realised my mistake ! It wasn't as awkward though, we had a laugh about it ; with my father it'd have been a different story...
crudeandrudeguy 29
I think I saw a porno start just like this... FYL indeed.
gracehi 33
What kind of **** are you watching???
EatZombies 10
Was it not obvious enough?
born_hustla 26
Shoulders are not that soft! Unless you have seriously hard boobs.
JimminyCrib 7
Why the hell were you all laying in your Parents bed watching a movie? Thats scary enough.
domolovesyoshi 33
Why not?, it's comfortable and relaxed, if you're a close nit family unit and a big enough bed I don't see a problem with it.
TheMathMajor 26
... I did this with my siblings and parents when I lived at home. Nothing scary about it.
Unused_Account13 25
Hell, I wish my family did stuff like that together. I'm lucky if I can get them all to eat dinner in the same room lol