Today, I was called by my son's school. They said he'd been forging my signature and comments in his reading book. He didn't forge them. I don't know what's worse: my handwriting looking like a 6 year-old's, or being too cowardly to admit it. He has a week of lunch detention, but I still have my dignity. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I got sent to the principal's office because my Dad decided that instead of signing his name, he would sign, "Ms. Bigtits", because he wanted to make sure the teachers were paying attention to what their students handed in. FML
Today, my son's school called to inform me that I had to come pick him up, as he was caught vandalising. What shenanigans had he gotten up to? Writing "Epstein didn't kill himself" on various desks and walls around the school. I'm not sure if I should applaud the sentiment, or be annoyed that he got caught. FML
Today, my son, who to my great shame is a typical bully, was suspended for bullying a disabled girl. Her father must have been the biggest, meanest, most tattooed ex-marine I've ever seen. He blamed me for bad parenting, and I actually peed myself a little in fear, which he saw too. FML
Today, I found out why my history grade is so low: the kid in front of me takes my homework, writes his name on it, and passes it off as his own. FML
Today, I received a Saturday detention because the assignment I'd handed in had different handwriting. I've been practicing my handwriting skills for the past month. FML
Today, a fifth grader gave me a note from his "father" excusing him from PE. It was riddled with spelling errors and shockingly poor grammar, so I rejected it as a blatant fake. Several hours later, I was informed by his very angry father that it wasn't actually fake. FML
Today, I finally stood up for myself and beat the crap out of a bully at school, as my father told me to do. The kid and I were called to the principal's office, along with our parents. Inside my father's smirk faded when he saw that the kid's mom was his boss. FML
Today, my wife got a call from my son's school, telling her that he was talking inappropriately in class, using bad language. Neither my wife or I ever use foul language, spoken or written. I feel like such a failure as father and parent. FML
Today, my so-called friend snitched to the teachers that I was the admin of the school confessions page and I got scolded after school. FML
Today, my 9-year-old son decided honesty is the best policy and to never lie again. And by that, I mean he's decided to go ahead and blurt out every mean comment he can think of. In one school day, he made 6 kids cry, was punched by 4 other kids, was reprimanded by 3 teachers, and was uninvited to a birthday party. FML
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Top comments
Aciliveth 5
You let your kid get a week's worth of detention because you won't admit it was you? Some parent you are. Your kid's gonna be pissed at you, and you deserve all of it.
Bangarang_Rufio 0
you're a dick.
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Comments (551)
noshitsherlock 0
You're a pathetic BITCH. You have NO dignity because you let your son get a week of detention because you're a spineless idiot. Bad handwriting? WHO CARES. You're a loser.
deathburger13 0
I'm guessing dad is his favorite parent? Because pretty much its a choice between a stupid ******* bitch and a decent person. Your not a parent. You were just too stupid to figure out how to take the birth control and you figured "Ah **** it. I won't get pregnant anyway". Your a stupid *****. Learn to be a better parent, and stop letting your son take the fall for what you did. You have no dignity, bitch.
deathburger13 0
I retract the first sentence of my last comment. I realized you were a dude. Your still a spineless douchebag, you just have a peni...never mind. You lack boo...no thats not it either :|. You don't have a uteris? Yeah, that sounds better. You get my point.
XxCoolPersonxX 0
that is f*cking MESSED UP! what the he'll? your hella selfish you gave your son DETENTION just cuz YOU were EMBARASSED of your handwriting?
p00p0ster0us 0
I'm so so so so so sad the semen made it all the way to the egg.
icedrake523 2
You don't deserve to be a parent.
p00p0ster0us 0
Kinda funny to see people get gender-specific here. There was no indication of who was writing the tweet.
twiggly 0
lol @ all the hate. The nickname implies a man, at least to me. Mothers are not always the ones signing childrens homework. "Stupid bitch"....Maybe just a bitch. Stupid would imply that they were unintelligent. Just as 'stupid' as most of the people here assuming this was a woman. Assumptions leads to misunderstandings. Take this lesson now before it really bites you in the ass.
caticaticati 3
My mom is the one that always signed my homework.
astro16 0
Considering that MOST guys have sucky handwriting and don't really care for how their handwriting looks like, I think that OP is a woman.
keywestlov 0
seriously? a six year old in lunch detention and for a week?? a good time out wouldve been better. stupid education system
waterynuggets 0
You're a ******* tool.
helios_rex 0
Wow, what an example you're setting there champ... quite the piece of shit!