Today, I was called by my son's school. They said he'd been forging my signature and comments in his reading book. He didn't forge them. I don't know what's worse: my handwriting looking like a 6 year-old's, or being too cowardly to admit it. He has a week of lunch detention, but I still have my dignity. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I got sent to the principal's office because my Dad decided that instead of signing his name, he would sign, "Ms. Bigtits", because he wanted to make sure the teachers were paying attention to what their students handed in. FML
Today, my son's school called to inform me that I had to come pick him up, as he was caught vandalising. What shenanigans had he gotten up to? Writing "Epstein didn't kill himself" on various desks and walls around the school. I'm not sure if I should applaud the sentiment, or be annoyed that he got caught. FML
Today, my son, who to my great shame is a typical bully, was suspended for bullying a disabled girl. Her father must have been the biggest, meanest, most tattooed ex-marine I've ever seen. He blamed me for bad parenting, and I actually peed myself a little in fear, which he saw too. FML
Today, I found out why my history grade is so low: the kid in front of me takes my homework, writes his name on it, and passes it off as his own. FML
Today, I received a Saturday detention because the assignment I'd handed in had different handwriting. I've been practicing my handwriting skills for the past month. FML
Today, a fifth grader gave me a note from his "father" excusing him from PE. It was riddled with spelling errors and shockingly poor grammar, so I rejected it as a blatant fake. Several hours later, I was informed by his very angry father that it wasn't actually fake. FML
Today, I finally stood up for myself and beat the crap out of a bully at school, as my father told me to do. The kid and I were called to the principal's office, along with our parents. Inside my father's smirk faded when he saw that the kid's mom was his boss. FML
Today, my wife got a call from my son's school, telling her that he was talking inappropriately in class, using bad language. Neither my wife or I ever use foul language, spoken or written. I feel like such a failure as father and parent. FML
Today, my so-called friend snitched to the teachers that I was the admin of the school confessions page and I got scolded after school. FML
Today, my 9-year-old son decided honesty is the best policy and to never lie again. And by that, I mean he's decided to go ahead and blurt out every mean comment he can think of. In one school day, he made 6 kids cry, was punched by 4 other kids, was reprimanded by 3 teachers, and was uninvited to a birthday party. FML
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Top comments
Aciliveth 5
You let your kid get a week's worth of detention because you won't admit it was you? Some parent you are. Your kid's gonna be pissed at you, and you deserve all of it.
Bangarang_Rufio 0
you're a dick.
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Comments (551)
shmoop 0
you're pretty disgusting...
LxlizxZ94 0
if i was your kid id be pissed at you. why wouldnt u just admit it?
mealone 0
You are a horrible horrible parent. Didn't think for a second about the repurcussions that that 'white lie' would have on the way your son is treated in school, did you asshole? go burn in hell.
werzal 5
They must think the kid is brilliant if they think he is smart enough to forge comments and a signature... Most 6 yr olds are to busy thinking about other stuff, not forging signatures!
dolfan1993 0
Today, I got a week's detention for forging my Mom/Dad's signature. I didn't, my mom/dad writes like a six year old and is too much of a pussy to admit it. FML
alwaysalady 0
You're a bad parent. I pity your son. I see a lot of these situations in his future.
darkmis1 18
You gave up your dignity as soon as you let your son take the fall for something you did. You're a horrible parent-go back to that school and tell them the truth!
akvandervort 21
This isn't a FML or a YDI. It's a FHL, your poor son. You're a horrible parent and you suck...
jakedmagic 0
Its ALSO a YDI, because this guy is a bigtime loser. He needs to be a man-and when he said he still had his dignity: I'm pretty sure that a grown man blaming something on a six-year-old isn't very dignifying (is that the word?).
Nobody2 0
Not only will your son get a whole WEEK of detention, and not only will he be very mad at you (I hope), but his will also be in his school record and look very bad for him in the future. F his life. Not yours.
Emico_fml 0
Correction: You have no ******* dignity, you moron. Grow a pair. If you said it wasn't forged, then you wouldn't get punished. So you let your 6 year old kid have a week of detention because you're a spineless dick? That's horrible. I feel sorry for that kid, he deserves a parent that isn't as self centred as you.