Today, I was talking on the phone with my crush. After an hour of talking she told me, "If you were half as hot as you sound over the phone, I'd date you immediately." Maybe I should give up on love and start a phone sex line. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, while talking to the girl I have a crush on, I bragged how people tell me I have a voice for radio. She responded, "And the face for it too." FML
Today, I gathered the courage to ask my crush on a date. As I called her, she quickly answered and said "Can't talk right now, I'm in a movie theater." and then hung up. I'd called her home phone. FML
Today, the phone rang so I went to answer it. No one was there. A minute later the phone rang again and no one answered so I assumed it was a telemarketer or a prank so I started swearing uncontrollably in rage. Turns out it was my crush calling to ask me out, but she was too nervous to ask. FML
Today, my crush and I were talking about hypothetical situations. I told her, "I love you hypothetically." She said, "I love me too." I even got rejected hypothetically. FML
Today, I was texting with my childhood crush late at night and we were exchanging secrets. I figured this was as good a time as any to tell her about my long-standing crush on her. Turns out she's a lesbian. FML
Today, I was cheering up the girl I've been in love with for years. She was having one of those, "I'm ugly, no one wants to be with me" days. To cheer herself up, she said to me, "If you were a hot guy, you'd date me, right?" FML
Today, I called in to my girlfriend's favorite radio station to propose. After spending what seemed like an eternity telling her how much I love her and I want to spend the rest of my life with her, she took a deep breath, said, "How about no?" and hung up. FML
Today, I called this girl I've had a crush on for 2 years to confess my love to her. However, as she picked up the phone, I got so nervous that I froze and couldn't say a word. I was standing there, breathing heavily for 20 seconds. She got so freaked out that she threatened to call the police. FML
Today, I decided to finally talk to my crush. I said, "Hello" to which he replied, "First, dye your hair blonde and grow some boobs, then we can talk business." FML
Today, I got my crush's phone number. I started texting him and once I told him who it was, he stopped replying. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
CookiexJar 17
Maybe you should.
spekledworf 18
Aw she sounds pretty shallow. Sorry OP
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (89)
athlete1990 4
You're staying on the phone with her for an hour? Give up op, you have massacred the Art of challenge.
jayhawkchik 4
Walk away from that shallow mess, they don't deserve you.
monish 0
earn and ****
congele 6
As long as you've got ambition
be4udie03 6
What a bitch...
Chaosaiyan 6
We've all considered it...
gardenwhipped3 14
I am sure we have. However based on my wild guesses I don't think there is a big market for women calling men on a phone sex line.
joan342 3
Insensitive prick
nvo 6
Once you're past high school there will be more women who see "sexy" beyond superficial looks. Sounds like you're a good guy - so you will find women who appreciate that. There are too many pretty morons out there...
smartjingle 11
She sounds shallow but maybe you're reaching out of your league too.
mscynic 4
It would make you lots of money. Some people are so shallow.. /: