Today, I was talking on the phone with my crush. After an hour of talking she told me, "If you were half as hot as you sound over the phone, I'd date you immediately." Maybe I should give up on love and start a phone sex line. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, while talking to the girl I have a crush on, I bragged how people tell me I have a voice for radio. She responded, "And the face for it too." FML
Today, I gathered the courage to ask my crush on a date. As I called her, she quickly answered and said "Can't talk right now, I'm in a movie theater." and then hung up. I'd called her home phone. FML
Today, the phone rang so I went to answer it. No one was there. A minute later the phone rang again and no one answered so I assumed it was a telemarketer or a prank so I started swearing uncontrollably in rage. Turns out it was my crush calling to ask me out, but she was too nervous to ask. FML
Today, my crush and I were talking about hypothetical situations. I told her, "I love you hypothetically." She said, "I love me too." I even got rejected hypothetically. FML
Today, I was texting with my childhood crush late at night and we were exchanging secrets. I figured this was as good a time as any to tell her about my long-standing crush on her. Turns out she's a lesbian. FML
Today, I was cheering up the girl I've been in love with for years. She was having one of those, "I'm ugly, no one wants to be with me" days. To cheer herself up, she said to me, "If you were a hot guy, you'd date me, right?" FML
Today, I called in to my girlfriend's favorite radio station to propose. After spending what seemed like an eternity telling her how much I love her and I want to spend the rest of my life with her, she took a deep breath, said, "How about no?" and hung up. FML
Today, I called this girl I've had a crush on for 2 years to confess my love to her. However, as she picked up the phone, I got so nervous that I froze and couldn't say a word. I was standing there, breathing heavily for 20 seconds. She got so freaked out that she threatened to call the police. FML
Today, I decided to finally talk to my crush. I said, "Hello" to which he replied, "First, dye your hair blonde and grow some boobs, then we can talk business." FML
Today, I got my crush's phone number. I started texting him and once I told him who it was, he stopped replying. FML
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Top comments
CookiexJar 17
Maybe you should.
spekledworf 18
Aw she sounds pretty shallow. Sorry OP
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Comments (89)
emeraldisle 30
She's not worth your time. Find someone who likes you for who you are, not what you look like.
Welshite 40
Learn a romance language, and you'll practically be irresistible to any woman.
greenie213 23
Like German!
BunchieRules 31
42 - I get the joke, but German isn't a romance language anyway. 15 was probably thinking of French or Spanish.
mammabear1210 4
She said immediately if you were. So there is a chance she would date you, just not as soon.
ebonyirony 29
Those 900 numbers are great if you can get em.
walmartpaysme 15
Call a sex line, cry deeply, demand a refund....
icecreamdriveby 5
Eat a bagel (like a boss)
Nnycr 4
I think op has a decent chance. She brought up dating and didn't say only if he was that hot, she just said immediately. To me, thay means she has thought about it. Maybe she just sucks at compliments.
Sicilysstallion 2
Haha you'd make some bank of that hobby
DocBastard 40
So you're complaining that the person you like completely exposed herself as a superficial twat? You should have said "I'm glad you like my voice. **** you." and then hung up on her without another thought. If people cared more about personality and less about looks, the world would be a much happier (though uglier) place.
ManInTheMachine 20
I agree that people should be more focused on personality, but you do have to admit that looks do play a significant role. The saying is, after all, "Love at first sight", not "Love at first political debate".
Fishinaddict22 1
I mostly agree with you Doc but there has to be some amount of physical attraction. However if you truly love someone's personality, hang around them more and I guarantee an attraction will grow. You might not call that person hot but you'll find them to be the most beautiful individual in the world, then BAM! True love :)
murphdarkly 13
It's not like she's saying your ugly just that your voice is super sexy to her...
marramrammar 2
Hang in there, cause those golden pipes may sway her! She is thinking about it if she even mentioned it, and your personality may trump it all. Tell her your interested in her!!
DasHaas 9
Count me in the "not worth hunting the shallow ones" category.