Today, for the first time, I made a guy get a boner and make out with me. This would've been great if it hadn't been a dream, and if the guy in question hadn't been my brother. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I met my brother for the first time in 20 years. Everything was going great, until he tried to make out with me. FML
Today, for the first time in my life, a girl showed interest in me. She sent me a text message saying she wanted to come over and fuck my brains out. This would've made me the happiest guy alive, if only she weren't my extremely drunk sister. FML
Today, I had a sexy dream, woke up and started to masturbate quite vigorously. When I finished, I hopped off the top bunk naked to see my brother and his girlfriend laying in the bottom bunk. FML
Today, after months of trying to make my girlfriend orgasm, she finally did. It was with my brother. I'll definitely knock next time. FML
Today, I walked in on my brother having sex. With my boyfriend. FML
Today, I came home to find my brother making out with my girlfriend while taking a selfie. FML
Today, I finally had an opportunity to flirt with the guy I have a crush on. We danced together all night and everything was going well… too well apparently, because out of nowhere, he kissed my sister, who knew about my crush on him but still kissed him back. FML
Today, after more than a year of being single, I finally had sex. Unfortunately, it was only in a dream, and after we finished, he told me that I'm terrible in bed. Even my dream-lover is a dick. FML
Today, I found out that what I thought was my brother gasping and groaning in his dreams most nights is actually him jacking off. FML
Today, I told my ex I was going to bed after a few drinks, and she ended up fucking my brother while I was asleep. What an awakening to hear. FML
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Top comments
Mightyrif 23
What the actual **** did I just read.
Skycop_S 23
What's fun for the family, involves 2 to 4 people and can result in pleasure? A board game! Everyone is pleased when they win monopoly!
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Comments (116)
Archangel12 9
You know what they say. If you can't keep it in your pants, keep it in the family
unfuqnreal 15
This be stephen kings wet dream come true
danm_1 28
I think I need to bleach my soul, after reading that
manuwish 9
hm..girl, you got issues :( but don't beat yourself up about it, you've probably been single a while and quite disappointed by guys, you feel the love your brother has for you and feel safe around him..but is that really all you want from a husband or partner? If it is, than I'm sure you will find a partner that feels like family to you..or makes you feel safe and loved. Maybe your brother is your male role model, lots of women have that kind of Oedipus complex with their dad..they look for a partner that is like their dad..maybe you have that with your brother..I'm not telling you to go see a shrink about it, but talking to a therapist might help you understand yourself better.
Luxxi 18
Yikes
RealChewyPiano 18
Obviously from Tennessee
DuskKitten 15
That's actually really normal. Alot of people get dreams like that about their close family when they miss them or haven't been around them for a while. it's hour subconscious telling you to spend more time with him. That's scientific fact. Don't worry about it
videogames4life 10
It was just a weird dream. Everybody gets them. The more you think about it, the more self-conscious you're gonna be, and the more awkward you're gonna feel
DoomSkuller 28
Give him what he wants ;)
morningmonster 18
white people, man..