Today, I found out that what I thought was my brother gasping and groaning in his dreams most nights is actually him jacking off. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I had a sexy dream, woke up and started to masturbate quite vigorously. When I finished, I hopped off the top bunk naked to see my brother and his girlfriend laying in the bottom bunk. FML
Today, I was in bed, about to fall asleep, when I remembered something funny. While trying not to laugh, I started grunting and biting my lip, when suddenly my brother walked by my door. He refuses to believe that I wasn't masturbating. FML
Today, I woke up after a really intense wet dream. Problem is, I'd fallen asleep in the living room. My little brother saw the whole thing. Now he's going around telling family I need to get some. FML
Today, I realized that I'm a sleepwalker and for the past week, that dream where I was giving my roommate a blowjob was real. He just pretended it never happened. FML
Today, I was masturbating lying on the lower bed of my brother's and my bunk beds. I finished jacking off and tried to get up to clean myself I hit my head on metal panel of the upper bed and passed out. Later woke up in my bed... found out my parents came home and saw me passed out naked holding a porn mag. FML
Today, I walked in on my brother masturbating. In the living room. For the second time. FML
Today, my friend spent the night. I now know that she masturbates in her sleep. FML
Today, I came home early from work and found my brother in my bed with a girl I've never met. Apparently he's been using my house to hook up with girls while I'm gone. FML
Today, I woke up to the sound of my neighbor pleasuring himself. FML
Today, I realized that my brother is one of those people who comment on porn. I found out about it because he commented on my video. FML
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Top comments
AyeJay101 25
And I thought it was gonna end like he was having sex with someone... But that's some intense jerking.
Ecudaniel 16
wonder how you found out...
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Comments (79)
NicholausB 15
That a very disturbing thing to find out. Must of been very awkward when you did. Sorry OP, you don't deserve that.
brownapple 22
More awkward if OP sleeps next to him.
Dick_diamond 22
Hate to be that guy but.. *Must have or must've
prostar9993 15
You don't deserve that? Stop being overly sensitive. It's human nature ffs. Raising a generation of ******* with all this coddling.
wtffml1979 22
Agree with #59. We're turning our future into ******* cause we don't wanna hurt someone's feelings. **** that
Ecudaniel 16
wonder how you found out...
ColonelCusswords 24
All those tissues aint no cold
ScarredVox92 16
I was wondering the same thing.
AyeJay101 25
And I thought it was gonna end like he was having sex with someone... But that's some intense jerking.
ColonelCusswords 24
Jerking so intense he was literally having passionate loving sex with his hand
Hoopachi 19
#27 All that groaning and gasping? No bro, that's some hardcore bdsm right there
Destinee_1 13
Haha oh puberty.
noobienick 19
That must be HARD for you to accept
SweetasCandy0609 28
#5 we got the pun you didn't need to capitalize just the word hard it's not like it made your pun any better.
noobienick 19
I wasn't sure if people would understand, so I decided to make it easier.
ColonelCusswords 24
You stay classy noobienick, dont let the shit speakers bring you down
sirrubberducky 7
Capitalize all you want for people to understand it, it still sucked.
Miss_Whipped 43
noobienick, why would you make it easier? Isn't the joke supposed to be that it's as hard as possible?
tzemmy 25
At least you don't have a dirty mind, initially thinking it was just from dreams
A07 48
I'm interested in learning how OP found this out.
ColonelCusswords 24
Watching those sheets move very suspiciously
wtffml1979 22
Why do you find that interesting?? Creeper much....
BrutalEater 15
That's inconsiderate of him. You should try to talk to him about the situation.
clairesucks 37
I doubt that would end well. A conversation like that would get very awkward.
prostar9993 15
Inconsiderate to jerk off in your own bed room? No, inconsiderate would be him spanking it while sitting on her bed.
nonsensical 26
Next time you hear him do that, imitate his sounds. He'll stop.
Kielnmsoftly 26
I don't know that that's the best idea. It will just make an even more complicated situation. Either he's hacking off to the sound of OP moaning or he thinks they're doing it too. I'd just invest in noise canceling earphones. Beats, even the earbuds, work amazing but I mean earplugs are cheap if short on cash
illegalbeagle69 23
"Your momma sure does care about your schoolin', son."
expertsmilee 26
1 up vote is not enough for thee.
ColonelCusswords 24
Theres a chance he'll go even harder
pokemyeyes 23
or make gorilla sounds to draw a parallel
nonsensical 26
#14 oh it'd make it extremely awkward for sure. Who would continue after that? and i'm pretty sure they wouldn't talk about it later, they'd just both understand its something to never speak of again...
marigoldcobain 21
I dunno, man. She'll probably do obviously fake moans that would turn anyone off instantly.
Pizzapiggy1 18
Gross, but everyone does it
limabeans101029 21
But usually not in the same room as your sibling. (From the FML I'm assuming they share a room, I could be wrong though)
laden_swallow09 35
Sure, most everyone whacks it. Not everyone gasps and moans like an abused elephant, though.
nonsensical 26
hahaha... "abused elephant"... amazing how well that painted the image for me