Today, my new doctor gave me a breast exam and said everything was healthy, before adding "Well, I think so, anyway. I don't actually work here." As I freaked out, he laughed out loud, said he was just kidding, and that he should prescribe me a chill pill. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I went to have a breast exam. The doc told me that she would touch different parts of my breasts, and said to tell her if at any point it felt painful. As she was examining me, I was going to say that it wasn't painful, but instead I blurted out, "It feels good." FML
Today, I got a breast exam. I'd never had one before, but assumed it would be quick and easy. I had no idea how ticklish my boobs are. I burst out in uncontrollable laughter and kept instinctively jerking away. FML
Today, my doctor got my blood test results from the lab. He looked at me gravely and told me I had just weeks left to live. After I started hyperventilating and crying, he burst out laughing and said he was kidding. He then prescribed me some iron tablets and sent me on my way. FML
Today, I went to the doctor for a suspicious lump under my armpit, so he suggested a breast examination. While pressing all over them he said, "We're gonna have to send you for an X-ray because you have the most lumpy breasts I've ever felt in my life." FML
Today, I had to get a prostate exam. Right before the doctor started, he told me that if I found it awkward at all, I should just imagine I was being probed by aliens. FML
Today, my doctor died. Last week, after a check up I'd had because I was worried about a cough, he told me not to worry because I was as healthy as he was. FML
Today, I went to the doctor's office, where my mother happens to work. When my doctor tried to prank her by saying I have chlamydia, my mother laughed and said she didn't believe it, adding, "Have you even seen the way she interacts with boys?" FML
Today, while getting a breast exam for some suspicious lumps, I was lying on the table with my boobs exposed and I learned my doctor is afraid of wasps. I had to chase the wasp out whilst topless. FML
Today, I was at the gynecologist and he was performing a routine check-up. He was a new doctor and I was just slightly uncomfortable with him. About mid-check-up, as he felt around my uterus, he said in a cartoonish voice, "Oh, it's so squishy up here." The doctor turned me into a sock puppet. FML
Today, I was giving myself a breast exam for lumps. I heard laughing, looked around and saw that the 12 year-old neighbor and his friends were watching through the window. FML
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Top comments
Earths_Venus 25
Buy him a rectal thermometer because he's an asshole.
Earths_Venus 25
Can I buy you a ball gag so you'll shut up?
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Comments (113)
Catlover1130 14
This is why I don't go to a male doctor for that kind of stuff.
SpamPam 18
Which is probably why you are not a doctor
Eltobak 13
Totaly inapropriate but really hillarious
Journiexo 18
He sounds awesome
MrStealYoGrille 8
Lol best doctor ever
worldclassrager 41
That's above cruel...glad everything is okay OP
infectedsense 15
Was it Zach Braff?
f_mine_fer_sure 6
Where do I even begin? I think I will begin by saying I'm glad you're okay, and end by saying that if you want to remain okay psychologically it might be smart to find a doctor who knows the difference between appropriate and inappropriate humor. This does not really bode well in my mind!
f_mine_fer_sure 6
People can give me thumbs down on this all they like, but doctors need to be held to some sort of standards, and I would say that one good standard to start with is not scaring a new patient half to death "joking" about making her think for even a split second that she's just been sexually abused. For many people just going in for an exam is totally terrifying. This is not okay on the doctor's part, and the fact that he did this demonstrates a very dangerous lack of respect for the vulnerability of the women he's supposed to be serving with compassion and dignity.
BananEnigma 24
Exactly. Completely agree. I don't understand why people find this so funny, it's despicable behavior.
worldclassrager 41
Now if something was wrong would he say everything was alright? That's a bit scary possible malpractice
Demoniq 25
I think this doctor is awesome, but just needs to pick his audience better. Some people tend to react to the potential joke in a statement before taking it seriously (me) and some people invest themselves emotionally a bit too soon.