Today, my new doctor gave me a breast exam and said everything was healthy, before adding "Well, I think so, anyway. I don't actually work here." As I freaked out, he laughed out loud, said he was just kidding, and that he should prescribe me a chill pill. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went to have a breast exam. The doc told me that she would touch different parts of my breasts, and said to tell her if at any point it felt painful. As she was examining me, I was going to say that it wasn't painful, but instead I blurted out, "It feels good." FML
Today, I got a breast exam. I'd never had one before, but assumed it would be quick and easy. I had no idea how ticklish my boobs are. I burst out in uncontrollable laughter and kept instinctively jerking away. FML
Today, my doctor got my blood test results from the lab. He looked at me gravely and told me I had just weeks left to live. After I started hyperventilating and crying, he burst out laughing and said he was kidding. He then prescribed me some iron tablets and sent me on my way. FML
Today, I went to the doctor for a suspicious lump under my armpit, so he suggested a breast examination. While pressing all over them he said, "We're gonna have to send you for an X-ray because you have the most lumpy breasts I've ever felt in my life." FML
Today, I had to get a prostate exam. Right before the doctor started, he told me that if I found it awkward at all, I should just imagine I was being probed by aliens. FML
Today, my doctor died. Last week, after a check up I'd had because I was worried about a cough, he told me not to worry because I was as healthy as he was. FML
Today, I went to the doctor's office, where my mother happens to work. When my doctor tried to prank her by saying I have chlamydia, my mother laughed and said she didn't believe it, adding, "Have you even seen the way she interacts with boys?" FML
Today, while getting a breast exam for some suspicious lumps, I was lying on the table with my boobs exposed and I learned my doctor is afraid of wasps. I had to chase the wasp out whilst topless. FML
Today, I was at the gynecologist and he was performing a routine check-up. He was a new doctor and I was just slightly uncomfortable with him. About mid-check-up, as he felt around my uterus, he said in a cartoonish voice, "Oh, it's so squishy up here." The doctor turned me into a sock puppet. FML
Today, I was giving myself a breast exam for lumps. I heard laughing, looked around and saw that the 12 year-old neighbor and his friends were watching through the window. FML
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Top comments
Earths_Venus 25
Buy him a rectal thermometer because he's an asshole.
Earths_Venus 25
Can I buy you a ball gag so you'll shut up?
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Comments (113)
CobraLazerFace 21
He sounds like the kind of doctor who prescribes medicinal cannabis. The ultimate chill pill
TehCezar 5
Or Vicodin: the ultimate chill pill
junkman6 22
Vicodin? A chill pill? You're looking for Xanax I think.
808andheartbreak 16
I get so anxious during regular check ups but this was an actual exam...He seriously had no right of such a "joke" especially since you just met him.
russfml 31
That is hilarious, I would high five that doctor
christian1509 21
I wish I had a doctor with a sense of humor, they're always so serious
Brandi_Faith 34
That's because of people that get offended. They don't feel they can do stuff like this on the off chance they may get in trouble or sued for something that you or I would just take as a joke or funny.
SpamPam 18
Would you feel the same way if a doctor said that after having his hand up your bum hole for a prostate exam?
siniclehamster 16
#72 I would laugh my ass off.
christian1509 21
After he explained that he was just joking yes, I would think it was funny. I don't see what's so bad about it
junkman6 22
#72 I had a doctor tell me "sorry I just wanted to grab your junk. the real doctor will be in soon" after a physical. It's just a little comedy during a usually awkward situation.
hrhlovesrar 8
That's an radical doctor! lmao
lizziemo79 18
That is the best doctor fml omg I can't breathe
PresidentNorth 16
It really isn't that serious.
MSDemonslayer 5
Hehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehe. Bewbs
ChelzTheWolfGirl 29
Omg your doctor is awesome! I don't know how this is an FML. Most doctors are so stuck up you can't find their sense of humor. I would've loved to have someone to make jokes with to take away the awkwardness of the situation.
cadillacgal79 32
I know doctors try to be humorous in not-so-light situations *ahem DocBastard* but there's a time and place for everything and this was an inappropriate joke in my opinion.
fsomelife 26
It was funny, but he did it knowing it would freak her out, and not for a funny reason, so I have to agree.
RastaZebra 8
Is that a pun about bones?
Pingvinai 37
You know, doctors go through a lot of shit and at one point they just stop giving a damn about their patients. At least yours has got a sense of humor!