Today, as I was driving, a massive cockroach clicked its way across my windshield. I pulled over to fling it out the window, but it spread its wings and flew around like a hook-armed stabbing machine. I lost it in the dark car and now I can't find it. It's going to be a long drive home. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I walked out the back door of my place of employment and looked down to see a huge cockroach. This is quite a normal occurrence, so I thought nothing of it until I realized it was struggling to drag the corpse of one of its friends into the building. FML
Today, a cockroach flew towards me, and out of panic I dropped my car keys in the sewer. Not only did I lose my keys, but the cake I made for a client is stuck inside the car. It's for a wedding, and they're arriving in the reception area in a few minutes. FML
Today, I was cooking dinner when I noticed a cockroach on the kitchen counter. I reflexively tried to spray it with what I had to hand, which was window cleaner, but it seems to have pissed it off and flew right at me instead. I screamed and ran out of the kitchen, leaving the roach in charge. FML
Today, I spent an hour and a half washing my car. As I was driving down the highway, a large bird flew over my car and accidentally dropped the dead animal he was about to have for dinner. It landed on my windshield. FML
Today, I woke up with a cockroach in my ear. FML
Today, I was sitting shotgun in the car. A huge bug came inside, and everyone began to freak out so naturally I began to swat at it. I got the fly, but I also cracked the windshield. I paid $229 to kill a bug. FML
Today, I woke up to a huge, disgusting bug next to my bed. As I tried to squish it, it suddenly flew off at high speed. Now I'm lying in bed, awake and terrified because I can hear it buzzing around but can't see it anywhere. FML
Today, while packing my luggage from vacation I thought I saw a penny drop into my bag. After looking everywhere I couldn't find it. Now that I am home I found out that I had mistaken a cockroach for a penny. I now have a family of cockroaches living in my luggage. FML
Today, I found a dead bird on my windshield. Thinking I was clever, I turned on my windshield wipers to get the bird off. Unfortunately, the dead bird fell through my open window and onto my lap. FML
Today, I got up in the middle of the night to get a glass of water. I felt something get caught in my throat so I coughed and spluttered a bit. When I turned on the lights I discovered I'd coughed up a cockroach. FML
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Top comments
ComoEsJuan 24
It now owns your car, sorry.
riddle143 15
Well crap... Time to burn that car
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Comments (90)
gracehi 33
Gauge out your eyes. Maybe that'll help.
kinky44 28
*Gouge Not sure how to gauge my eyes at all, let alone out.
gracehi 33
lol! Yeah, I noticed my typo when it was too late to fix it. :(
ToBeFilledInLate 11
If you gouge your eyes out then you wont see when its creeps up for the attack!
sieheidhe 4
That sucks
vikky538 29
looks like a revenge drama by cockroach...
deedeedeniel 17
Cockroaches are the main reasons why i have nightmares :$
Martijn1102 14
He's so loyal to you even though you threw it out of your car, he came back. He's a keeper!
hannah_cheers 30
If I were you, I'd probably get out and walk home.
jellybear28 13
Don't let that *bug* you!!
emmaaadotcom 20
I would be walking home.
vividpictures 17
What if the cockroach laid eggs in your car..
MRP360 14
C4 is always an option
rocker_chick23 27
Flamethrowers are also an option.
skittle_QUEEN_YO 15
Less we forget about trusty grenades
rocker_chick23 27
I would have been running away from the car like a bat out of Hell.
sem2183 13
OMG same here! When I was younger one scampered across my foot and I fainted. I have a phobia of insects. Gives me the chills just thinking about it.