Today, a cockroach flew towards me, and out of panic I dropped my car keys in the sewer. Not only did I lose my keys, but the cake I made for a client is stuck inside the car. It's for a wedding, and they're arriving in the reception area in a few minutes. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, as I was driving, a massive cockroach clicked its way across my windshield. I pulled over to fling it out the window, but it spread its wings and flew around like a hook-armed stabbing machine. I lost it in the dark car and now I can't find it. It's going to be a long drive home. FML
Today, I dropped my keys in the sewer. The spare ones are inside my locked car. FML
Today, my apartment was flooded due to a broken pipe, which caused a huge family of cockroaches to disperse. Did you know they can fly? FML
Today, I was cooking dinner when I noticed a cockroach on the kitchen counter. I reflexively tried to spray it with what I had to hand, which was window cleaner, but it seems to have pissed it off and flew right at me instead. I screamed and ran out of the kitchen, leaving the roach in charge. FML
Today, I shut my finger in the car door. The door locked. Then I dropped the keys on the ground and couldn't reach them. FML
Today, I walked out the back door of my place of employment and looked down to see a huge cockroach. This is quite a normal occurrence, so I thought nothing of it until I realized it was struggling to drag the corpse of one of its friends into the building. FML
Today, I spent an hour frantically searching for my car keys, turning the entire apartment upside down. After giving up and calling a locksmith, I found the keys… in the fridge. Because apparently I put my leftover pizza on top of them. FML
Today, I managed to accidentally drop an entire cake on my laptop's keyboard. There's so much frosting stuck under the keys, I have no idea how I'm going to clean it out. FML
Today, I locked my keys in my car. I had a spare key in my wallet, that I also left in the car. FML
Today, I finally got my new car delivered to my home. After clicking some pics, I was walking around it, just admiring it, and tripped. Both sets of keys fell down the storm water drain. It rained heavily last night and this morning, so the water inside is still flowing. FML
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Top comments
tounces7 28
If you panic that easily perhaps you should consider a career where people depend on you for important things less.
Chris Cowperthwait 4
a rock or brick will open up the windows pretty quickly
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Comments (13)
RichardPencil 32
I thought the penis story was outlandish, but this one really takes the cake!
tounces7 28
If you panic that easily perhaps you should consider a career where people depend on you for important things less.
Chris Cowperthwait 4
a rock or brick will open up the windows pretty quickly
WeirdUS 30
So risking a bad review for the business for a wedding because of a cockroach? Not like your car is surrounded by wasps or bees. Seriously grow up.
AmbrosiaFan 19
Call your assistant to come over, if it is your car, windows can be replaced.
BurnInDemonFire 39
Pennywise has your keys now. Hope you decided to break a window over losing your customer's business.
MitiMiki 16
Break the window...surely your businesses reputation is worth a couple hundred bucks for some new glass.