Today, I was at Target with my mom and we finished purchasing our items. We had gotten a fan so I said, "This thing is too big to fit in." First thing my mom yells? "THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID!" and starts laughing hysterically in front of the entire store. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went to the store with my 4-year-old daughter. While I was trying to change into tight jeans, which weren't completely on, my daughter opened the curtain and yelled, "It's the Mommy Show!" Everyone there heard her and saw me. FML
Today, while at the store with my mom, we ran into the girl I recently confessed to being interested in. My mom decided to shout, "IS THAT HER?! IS THAT THE GIRL YOU LIKE?!" Embarrassed, I desperately told her to be quiet. She grounded me for being "rude" to her. FML
Today, my husband jokingly told my daughter when she passes gas in public, she needed to blame it on the fattest and ugliest person there. We went shopping after and she let a HUGE fart out. She gasped, "Mommy!" FML
Today, I took my very talkative toddler to a grocery store. As we passed a woman in an aisle, my kid pointed and said loudly, "Mummy, why does that lady have such a funny face?" I had to awkwardly apologize while my face went beet red. FML
Today, my mom told my dad to get me extra absorbent pads, very loudly, in a crowded mall. FML
Today, while I was shopping, I spotted a lady who had the last of an item I wanted in her cart. She went off to the dressing room, so seeing my opportunity, I went and grabbed it from her cart, and put it in mine. I hadn't noticed her bratty-ass daughter next to the cart, who then yelled, “I saw that! Mommy! Some lady's stealing from your cart!” FML
Today, my mom and I were looking at dresses for me at the mall. The cashier pointed out a dress, and my mom said, "She's definitely not going to fit into that. She's too flat-chested." FML
Today, while standing in line at the grocery store, I noticed that myself and the woman in front of me were wearing the same shirt. As she was about to leave, I said to her "Hey! I'm wearing that shirt!" She turned to me and replied, "Not in THIS size you aren't." FML
Today, I was at Target deciding what chap-stick to get when an old lady violently hit me with her umbrella and kept yelling at me saying, "You are too young for this! Think twice!" FML
Today, I was at the grocery store with my dad. He let out a very silent but foul abomination of a fart. The people behind us started gagging, so he turned, pointed at me and said, "That was my daughter." FML
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Top comments
MrGlad 0
Cool mom, lol. I wish my mom was like that...
Pb_lily 0
Oh get over yourself. Your mom is funny.
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Comments (299)
renyark209 0
Ugh my dad did the same thing in front of my friends. FML and FYL lol.
rukiafujioka 0
I don't get it. At all. o.O and I'm a teenager and I think I'm supposed to? FML.
Acer1096xxx 0
That's a silly mommy.
fretforyerlatte 0
you were totally asking for a "that's what she said" there. go mom!
aiezaiza 0
Ah, this made me laugh more than all the other FML's, thankyou thankyou thankyou for posting this, I can imagine it and it's brilliant. Your Mum is incredibly cool to know that joke and also maybe a tad mental. Nothing wrong with mental though. :D
crazy_cat_lady 0
Your mom rocks. I'll trade you. My mom thinks that people that eat shellfish are going to hell.
SeventhFonons 0
o.O Is it because 'shell' has 'hell' in it? Because that's the only explainable reason I can think of.
redbluegreen 41
Uh... Kosher much?
FarSide 23
They are. Faster than a kerosene cat with gasoline drawers on.
AshleyRose784 0
ha! go mom
skiBOAT 0
Cool mom? I beg to differ. That wold embarassing me to no end...
tennisismygame 0
lolololol thats sooo funny. i used to say that all the time, but then my parents told me to 'tone it down'
sickinlove13 0
So what? Seriously, when are we going to have a "so what?" button?
seb12992 0
When are people going to stop asking about this stupid "So what" button. It's never going to happen. To OP: Your mom sounds funny, but that joke is tired.