Today, I had to eat up a few specks of toilet paper to avoid spoiling "the moment" with my girlfriend. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was going to the bathroom at my boyfriend's house. I had awful diarrhea and was almost done, when I noticed a spider on the ground. Being terrified, I took a giant ball of toilet paper to kill it. I realized then that I had no toilet paper left to use. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting frisky. He pulled off my panties and was about to go down on me when he said, "Wait, what's this white thing?" It was a piece of toilet paper. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate. I grabbed his butt to control his thrusts and got a clump of used toilet paper. FML
Today, as my boyfriend and I were messing around in his room, he took off my underwear. As he was about to go down on me, I spread my legs to help out. He then looked up at me and said, "You got some toilet paper left behind." FML
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend doggy-style and noticed a piece of toilet paper had been "left behind". I had such a bad internal conflict about whether to tell her or to remove it myself, I went limp. She started crying and accused me of not being attracted to her anymore. FML
Today, for the first time in weeks, my wife felt frisky, and we started fooling around. Half-way through undressing me, she bolted out, claiming she had the shits. About five minutes later, she tearfully called out from the bathroom, begging me to bring her a fresh roll of toilet paper. FML
Today, I was on a hot date. After we finished supper, we went back to his place. My stomach started to feel upset, so I politely asked where the bathroom was so I could "powder my nose;" After ten minutes of agonizing diarrhea, I looked down and noticed he was out of toilet paper. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I decided to try a new place to eat. On our way home we both had upset stomachs. As we raced into the house we realized neither of us could hold it any longer. Having only one bathroom, I let her go first. She exploded on the toilet and I exploded in my pants. FML
Today, my girlfriend sent me some nudes while I was at work, so I went into the bathroom to rub one out. When I was done, I realized there was no paper towels… or toilet paper… or soap. I'm really sticky right now. FML
Today, I sneaked into my girlfriend's house for some romantic time. Before going into her room, I took a dump in the bathroom. Once I was done, I not only noticed that there was no toilet paper left, but I heard her and her 6'5, heavyweight boxer, ex-marine father, talking outside the bathroom door. FML
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Top comments
Frankenstein611 10
Thats just nasty!
life_sucks225 13
i hope it was worth it
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Comments (258)
Tika876 18
The things you do for love...and sex.
Nekogami 14
Things I would not do. Hard limit. Line crossed. :P
JukeboxBanshee 10
That's pretty grody, but you deserve an award. That's what I call dedication.
Gurlio 3
He deserves an award for doing it and then posting it on a very public website?
PhilSnake22 13
Lolwut?
Ctrl_H 18
Go to Hell
Hammer940 7
Amazing what a guy will do for a little booty.
MrsPegg 45
Im pretty sure that piece of ass was more than he imagined he'd be getting...
Martinez0285 28
Hmm... Imagine what a guy would do for a big booty
jdrappi 12
I would have told her to go clean herself
iDaika9xL 13
I'm drinking coffee n almost puke
TogeBara 12
Tip to those in the same situation, ask to do it in the shower, wash it off then get back to work.
SWC_Penguin 17
Dude, no, you did not "have to" do that. It's really easy to rub them off while pretending you're just switching to your hands to mix things up. No need to ruin the moment OR eat them. That was your choice.
doodlecloud 27
Or he could've just told her...may have spoilt the moment but she needs to know for the future. He shouldn't have to do that.
lolen2910 3
wouldve only spoiled the.moment if she was a bitch about it.. id either crack up laughing or feel really bad but id feel better knowing that hes comfortable doing it
fleur_de_fevrier_fml 23
Thank you OP for keeping me from cheating on my diet. I don't think I'm going to eat for the next 3 days...
Drifting 21
So not worth it....