Today, I was going on a dinner date with a girl I had just met. After I picked her up I asked her if she would like to get lobster. She looked at me and asked if those were the red ones. Confused I nodded. She replied, "Sorry, I don't eat red meat." I laughed. She was serious. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I took my date to a restaurant but I had no idea how picky of an eater she is. Our waiter had to practically use 3 pages in his notebook just to write down all her special requests for this single meal. By the end, I could see he really wanted to ask if she was being serious or taking the piss. FML
Today, I was on a blind date with a girl my friend set me up with. We went to a fancy restaurant and she ordered the shrimp. I told her, "I'm allergic to shrimp, so you shouldn't order it in case I want to kiss you later." She looked at the waiter and said, "I'll have the shrimp." FML
Today, I told my girlfriend that I'm a vegan. She replied, "So, you're allergic to meat?" FML
Today, I went on a date with a fun, attractive girl. She ordered off the kid's menu, drowned her food in ketchup, and said my burger with blue cheese and bacon was disgusting. FML
Today, I took my girlfriend out to a vegetarian-friendly restaurant. She ordered shrimp fettuccine, and I asked why. She slowly explained to me that vegetarians can eat shrimp, then muttered that she now knows who has the brains in our relationship. FML
Today, I went on my first date in 8 years. While we were looking at the menu, the guy said: "So if you're vegetarian, why're you so fat?" FML
Today, I asked the girl I'm madly in love with out to dinner. When she asked me if I would pay, I jokingly said, "Well, that depends on how the date goes." She looked me up and down and said, "No thanks then." FML
Today, I went on my first date with a girl I have been infatuated with for months. At the restaurant, the waiter came while she was in the bathroom. I ordered steaks for both of us. Turns out, she is vegetarian, and doesn't like it when men are "overly aggressive." She called me a cow murderer. FML
Today, I went on a blind date with a guy at a seafood restaurant. I explained to him that I am deathly allergic to shrimp. When the waiter took my order, he interrupted me and said, “She’ll have the shrimp," while looking me dead in the eye. FML
Today, I took my girlfriend out for lunch, and I asked her if I could have a bite of her meal. She took it to mean I was calling her fat, and stormed out. FML
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Top comments
weinerdog 2
Well, I'd say it's an fml because the dude apparently can't find any dates that are smarter than a box of rocks.
Demon_fml 0
More like FHL!!! Was she blonde?
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Comments (171)
Ventriloquisitor 0
#77: Your amazingly articulate post was a delight to read. I am astonished by the amazing intelligence required to formulate those sentences. Clearly you must be a god among men.
I_am_Lathan 0
and your repetitive diction makes me want to hurl. Using big words wont make up for your lack of variety if you want to sound intelligent, nor does your final fragment of a sentence, a semi-colon would have been the proper punctuation mark in said instance, not a period. FACE PWN! p.s. Im an 18 year old guy. Awesome use of stereotyping as a response to the anger you felt at the previous commenters who were bashing blondes; truly an "amazing" example of both your maturity level and true intelligence. Ouch. Im honestly glad I'm not you right now.
whiteinsheffield 0
I'm honestly glad I'm not #146 right now
brie3 0
Oh God...
MagicMeds 0
I don't get it... well I think I might get it but there's no way someone could be that...
cmac86 24
oh my god! inwould keep her and just do so many things! she obviously isn't smart enough to think for herself (logically, at least).
rachs1161 0
epic fail
skitzoyd 0
Hahaha she's a winner fer sher
conradbeans 0
but seafood is barely even meat! vegetarians will eat it!
NicoleIAm 0
My best friend is a vegetarian and she won't eat any animal, including seafood. I think you are thinking of pescatarians, who eat seafood but not mammals or birds.
IWABO2_ 0
Why would you buy a girl you just met lobster?
staggman13 0
ydi for going on a date with a tard
confusdsincbirth 5
52, sure, you are book smarts, but dumb blondes lack common sense snarts.