Today, my girlfriend and I were snuggling and we placed our hands together, palm to palm. I can bend the tips of my fingers over hers, which apparently surprised her because she commented, "Huh, so big hands AREN'T related to penis size." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I noticed that my penis looks tiny in my girlfriend's hands. Without thinking, I pointed it out to her. Now she thinks I have a small cock, and I think she has man-hands. Either way, we're both turned off. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were getting hot and heavy. She had her shirt off, and commented on the small size of her breasts. Trying to make her feel better, I said I'd dated girls with smaller breasts. She replied by saying she'd dated bigger penises. FML
Today, I shook hands with a girl and held onto her hand while telling her she had very tiny, delicate hands. When I let go to look at them, I discovered she only had two fingers. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were having a casual conversation, when the topic suddenly became my penis. Before I knew what was going on, she said, "It's not the size that matters though. It's how you use it. So I guess you're ok." FML
Today, my girlfriend compared my penis to a snake. Not because of the size or shape, but because a snake is not something she imagines herself ever touching. FML
Today, I was making out with my girlfriend for the first time, and she reached down to feel me up. When her hands got there, she stopped and said, "You're not even hard..." I was. FML
Today, I asked my girlfriend for a kiss, and in response, she suggested that we settle for a hand hug. FML
Today, I went out on a second date with this girl, who touched my bicep when I told her I haven't been to the gym since a long time. She asked me to flex it, I did, and it remained the same size. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were laying in bed. She rolled over and began rubbing my chest. She then said, "Wow babe those are a solid B-cup." FML
Today, my girlfriend told me that if my penis was on any other body it would be considered small, but on me it's "cute." FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Bloink 25
I've got to hand it to her, that was kind of funny.
bobo_the_bear 5
Ouch. However big hands can be an asset in the bedroom if you use them right.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (120)
reinmon8823 11
lmao what a bitch hope You took it with a grain of salt cuz obviously she keeps coming back for more so you're doing something right OP
foxwasalamb 24
its not the size its how you use it!
Readoll 13
But it'll take a long time to cross the ocean in a rowboat....
kingdomgirl94 29
It might not make it across the ocean, but a row boat is more likely to go down ;)
bobo_the_bear 5
#59. I see what you did there. Ha
greendau 3
Yes 59 yes this is awesome
Wizardo 34
Now pride is the smallest thing in the room, chin up though use your fingers to get the job done if you know what I mean. P.S. I mean about sex *loud whisper*
chrisstanford 10
remember op its not the size of the boat that matters. you can have fun with all sizes. its just the motion in the ocean .
aintmypants 2
Buy you won't make it across the ocean in a dinghy either.
theDopestChiick 8
put it in her mouth
aruden 25
I like the way you think
theDopestChiick 8
lol
cakefete2 31
That should shut her up. Unless, of course, she's right.
Cleu 12
I had to read that twice #38 but it was perfect!
PhilSnake22 13
"And I guess small hands aren't related to vaginal tightness either..."
askullnamedbilly 33
Which, while witty, would be a surefire way to ensure he never gets to be inside said ****** again...
hunteryager 18
So she's allowed to insult him but it cant be the other way around? Huh, sounds pretty unfair to me. Especially since it's obviously a joke.
kingdomgirl94 29
Fun Fact: vaginas are muscles, they stretch a lot. If she's "tight" it could mean that she's not relaxed or not turned on enough.
Nish007 15
well I never! :O
olpally 33
Talk about a burn to the ego. Damn, what a bitch!
martin8337 36
Its feet that is related to penis size.
brewmasterg 34
Nothing is related to penis size except penis size.
Trish_la_la 2
#23- not true.... I dated a man who was 6'4, big hands and feet- smallest penis I'd experienced. And hands down- the best sex. Size can be irrelevant if they know how to use it.
gurbism 16
My knee-jerk reaction would have been to say something to the extent of "that's not what your mom said last night". Sorry OP