Today, I was at my retail job and we had to change the mannequin's outfit. I had to hold her while my manager grabbed the new outfit. I rested my head on her naked plastic chest, and it was the closest I've got to affection in years. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I'm so sexually deprived, I got a boner from undressing a mannequin at work. FML
Today, I was shopping for clothes. I thought this guy was a mannequin because he was standing perfectly still. I poked him and he screamed like a girl. FML
Today, I went to hand in a job application, and the supervisor wanted to ask me a few questions. I was nervous so I kept touching the fabric on a nearby display table. Only after I left did my friend tell me it was a pantie display, and that I was fondling underwear. FML
Today, I almost crashed my car because I was checking out an Old Navy mannequin wearing a bra. FML
Today, I worked a 9-hour retail like this. I didn't notice until 3 hours into my shift and had to deal with this embarrassment for the next 6 hours. FML
Today, I mistook a mannequin in a store for a real person and apologized when I bumped into it. A staff member saw and said, "Don’t worry, he’s used to it." FML
Today, at the museum I volunteer at, I was touching some of the things in the exhibit where you can feel what natural boobs and testes feel like. I started rolling the "boob" like a stress ball and forgot where I was. When I realized people were staring, it became very awkward. FML
Today, I was at work, and I had to tell my manager I was calling someone to bring me a bra as mine had broken mid-shift. I was the only woman on shift. It took them 30 minutes to show up and I still had to serve front of house while I waited. FML
Today, my boyfriend got a job at a trendy clothing store in the mall. Trying to be supportive, I went to visit him and tried something on. I got stuck in the jeans and had to call my boyfriend, who sent the manager to pull the jeans off me. FML
Today, I was trying on clothes in a store that had just screens set up for changing. As I took off the first pair of pants had I tried on, my foot got hooked in the cuff and I fell out in my underwear in front of the whole store. FML
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Top comments
qwtf 14
Match.com? E-harmony? If is been that long, maybe start looking online? There's someone out there for you :)
username53001 7
That must have been the breast feeling ever.
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Comments (59)
qwtf 14
Match.com? E-harmony? If is been that long, maybe start looking online? There's someone out there for you :)
Demig0d6 14
Don't worry babe I'm here for u
Dracoboxer357 36
I'm with Qwtf, I believe there's someone out there for you, go find him/her! Posts this sad make me want to volunteer hugs though. :(
cryssycakesx3 23
don't be that person that has to harass mannequins.
SadSon 2
@Dracoboxer357 I good you are right for OP and everyone. Some days is hard to put in the time on dating sites as responses never come.
incoherentrmblr 22
If you can't afford Match or E-Harmony, try OKCupid or Plenty of Fish. They're free. If you've resorted to Craigslist, you've hit rock bottom...
edmundoly 4
Or maybe there isn't and maybe that's OK.
Cwizer 17
Oh loneliness, there is no cure for your sadness.
brenton490 19
Yes there is some pie with peanut butter to fill in the holes!
RedPillSucks 33
I don't want no peanut butter filling in my holes!!
gingaa96 18
Sorry OP, #1 is just a dick apparently, but on the real, you can buy a Russian wife pretty cheap ;)
crazytwinsmom 25
OP is female, although that still may apply.
J3R3MYY 14
OP may be a guy, they just may be that confused about their gender it has been so long. Before you neg, yes I saw the gender sign.
gingaa96 18
Yea, I'm not gonna lie, I know it's a girl, but the plot contrivance worked better for me
jojimugo 20
Dude maybe you leave the house and try and get a social life before you sneak those mannequins home with you
graceinsheepwear 34
OP is female.
Poppy8127 15
Still gonna call you a dude no matter what
mohamed_H 21
Don't worry OP you'll find the right one.
bellles 18
Is that because you cuddle with naked mannequins in public ? Sorry OP, I'm sure you'll find someone :) just give it time .
Chibi_Kitten 24
Well..if you can think of it, then it exists in second life...
MelTheGreat 23
Saucy.
zandalee 20
Not really. Might be if he took a selfie with mannequin though...
mydumblifesucks 20
She*
username53001 7
That must have been the breast feeling ever.
cakefete2 31
Mannequin be so hard to come up with great puns sometimes. Good work.
AGB10 19
Naked plastic chest? Have You heard yourself?
saralynnee132 10
I think the mannequin might get more action
ZY1431 24
at this point it probably has.