Today, I was at my retail job and we had to change the mannequin's outfit. I had to hold her while my manager grabbed the new outfit. I rested my head on her naked plastic chest, and it was the closest I've got to affection in years. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I'm so sexually deprived, I got a boner from undressing a mannequin at work. FML
Today, I was shopping for clothes. I thought this guy was a mannequin because he was standing perfectly still. I poked him and he screamed like a girl. FML
Today, I went to hand in a job application, and the supervisor wanted to ask me a few questions. I was nervous so I kept touching the fabric on a nearby display table. Only after I left did my friend tell me it was a pantie display, and that I was fondling underwear. FML
Today, I almost crashed my car because I was checking out an Old Navy mannequin wearing a bra. FML
Today, I worked a 9-hour retail like this. I didn't notice until 3 hours into my shift and had to deal with this embarrassment for the next 6 hours. FML
Today, I mistook a mannequin in a store for a real person and apologized when I bumped into it. A staff member saw and said, "Don’t worry, he’s used to it." FML
Today, at the museum I volunteer at, I was touching some of the things in the exhibit where you can feel what natural boobs and testes feel like. I started rolling the "boob" like a stress ball and forgot where I was. When I realized people were staring, it became very awkward. FML
Today, I was at work, and I had to tell my manager I was calling someone to bring me a bra as mine had broken mid-shift. I was the only woman on shift. It took them 30 minutes to show up and I still had to serve front of house while I waited. FML
Today, my boyfriend got a job at a trendy clothing store in the mall. Trying to be supportive, I went to visit him and tried something on. I got stuck in the jeans and had to call my boyfriend, who sent the manager to pull the jeans off me. FML
Today, I was trying on clothes in a store that had just screens set up for changing. As I took off the first pair of pants had I tried on, my foot got hooked in the cuff and I fell out in my underwear in front of the whole store. FML
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Top comments
qwtf 14
Match.com? E-harmony? If is been that long, maybe start looking online? There's someone out there for you :)
username53001 7
That must have been the breast feeling ever.
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Comments (59)
gracehi 33
**** dating sites. Matter of fact, **** human beings. Get a puppy! You'll be drowning in affection before you know it!
ignorantpopcorn 12
*sigh*
tashahoneyy 13
that would be hard from the start....
J3R3MYY 14
She just didn't spell out the abbreviation guys it's ok. She meant to say lots of love OP, lots of love!
lbrown66 12
If you can touch it, it's real.
iLike2Teabag 27
False. You can touch Lindsay Lohan's boobs, but they are definitely not real.
foxwasalamb 24
i cant thumbs up you enough!
foxwasalamb 24
so whats her name? you taking her out again? cmon spill the dirt
cakefete2 31
Her name is serial number 468227. Her and the OP have been on two more dates since this post, and the relationship is blossoming.
howlingwolf89 16
You should go out more often OP
worldclassrager 41
It's something but you'll find someoen
badluckalex 23
no... just no.
avapaige1234 19
Aww. I feel your pain, OP. Online dating sites should work for you though.