Today, I was at my retail job and we had to change the mannequin's outfit. I had to hold her while my manager grabbed the new outfit. I rested my head on her naked plastic chest, and it was the closest I've got to affection in years. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I'm so sexually deprived, I got a boner from undressing a mannequin at work. FML
Today, I was shopping for clothes. I thought this guy was a mannequin because he was standing perfectly still. I poked him and he screamed like a girl. FML
Today, I went to hand in a job application, and the supervisor wanted to ask me a few questions. I was nervous so I kept touching the fabric on a nearby display table. Only after I left did my friend tell me it was a pantie display, and that I was fondling underwear. FML
Today, I almost crashed my car because I was checking out an Old Navy mannequin wearing a bra. FML
Today, I worked a 9-hour retail like this. I didn't notice until 3 hours into my shift and had to deal with this embarrassment for the next 6 hours. FML
Today, I mistook a mannequin in a store for a real person and apologized when I bumped into it. A staff member saw and said, "Don’t worry, he’s used to it." FML
Today, at the museum I volunteer at, I was touching some of the things in the exhibit where you can feel what natural boobs and testes feel like. I started rolling the "boob" like a stress ball and forgot where I was. When I realized people were staring, it became very awkward. FML
Today, I was at work, and I had to tell my manager I was calling someone to bring me a bra as mine had broken mid-shift. I was the only woman on shift. It took them 30 minutes to show up and I still had to serve front of house while I waited. FML
Today, my boyfriend got a job at a trendy clothing store in the mall. Trying to be supportive, I went to visit him and tried something on. I got stuck in the jeans and had to call my boyfriend, who sent the manager to pull the jeans off me. FML
Today, I was trying on clothes in a store that had just screens set up for changing. As I took off the first pair of pants had I tried on, my foot got hooked in the cuff and I fell out in my underwear in front of the whole store. FML
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Top comments
qwtf 14
Match.com? E-harmony? If is been that long, maybe start looking online? There's someone out there for you :)
username53001 7
That must have been the breast feeling ever.
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Comments (59)
maharb01 17
"you do the motorboat? you motorboatin' SOB you old sailor, you!"
drshn 22
Some people here seem to think you atea guy, may be you are. Guys also need affection and love anyway I hear you OP.
zandalee 20
Ummm. ??
drshn 22
what are you saying? ?
rdenkewicz 11
I really thought this was going to end up with OP accidentally undressing someone instead of the mannequin.
iamthunder 4
If I see on the news a mannequin has mysteriously dissapeared from a store, I will print screen this post and send it to your manager.
Chibi_Kitten 24
I'm a side note, this is common in California, so that you don't have to pay toll..just dress up some mannequins and you are all good
martin8337 36
That's taking an imaginary lover to a whole nuther level.
MrCantgetright 4
drill a hole in the butt, insert fleshlight, get as close to the real thing as you can
zandalee 20
What ever rocks your boat...
Chibi_Kitten 24
Look on the bright side..it isn't PDA with a mannequin, plus she'll never complain.
middlenamefrank 8
Hey, at least you're a woman, you can grope the female mannequins. It looks really bad if one of us men tries it.
Julz95 0
that's one of the saddest things i've heard, sorry about your troubles
shudson186 17
Get a dog OP! They love you no matter what.