Today, my dad was helping me move my stuff out. I'd asked my boyfriend to deal with my sex toys and lingerie, but still my dad showed up later at my new place, handed me a box full of them all, and simply said, "I don't want to know." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my dad surprised me by moving my bed (involving disassembling and reassembling it) in my new room, because I couldn't find how I wanted to set it up. He also took care of putting back my vibrator between the mattress and the base, where it was hidden. FML
Today, my parents were helping me move flats. The only box to spring open was the box containing condoms and copious amounts of napkins for clean up. They spilled all over the road as my dad was carrying it. My mum picked them up. FML
Today, I was cleaning out my deceased father's closet and found 4 boxes of BDSM porn videos, magazines and DVDs. To save his dignity, I hid them in my room to throw away on garbage day. My mom found the boxes in my room and now wants me to go to therapy. I'm only 16. FML
Today, my dad asked me to unpack the groceries he'd brought home. When he saw me come across a bottle of lube, then he told me how my mom had hit menopause and, as a result, her vaginal dryness made sex harder for the two of them. FML
Today, my dad came to pick me up early for the Christmas break. He walked in on me cleaning all 19 of my sex toys. That's more than one sex toy per year that I've lived. I now have to face a 7-hour drive from Montreal to Toronto with him. FML
Today, my dad decided to be an awesome person and fold my laundry without telling me. Later, I heard my parents having a conversation about a pair of panties that were "like dental floss" and which sister they belonged to. FML
Today, my father came over to my house. I realized there were condoms on the table, so I subtly moved a vase to hide them. He then gave me an unamused look and said, "I know you have sex. You've been married for nine years. Grow the fuck up, dumbass." FML
Today, my mom cleaned up my room. I had a drawer filled with condoms, 2 vibrators, and a bondage kit. She organized the condoms and vibrators in a shoe box. FML
Today, my dad walked into my room, threw some magazines on my bed, and calmly said, "You left your porn in the bathroom again." FML
Today, I went to run an errand while my parents helped unpack boxes in my new house. When I returned, my dad said to me, "I wasn't going to say anything, but we 'did it.' I'll let you figure out which room." FML
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Top comments
SerpentBoy 8
That's a good Dad right there... He knew it was your business and he left it that way.. I'm sure he will be trying to forget about it anyway...
conqueror57 11
ALWAYS handle the important things yourself.
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Comments (113)
HortonThelephant 15
Truly horrendous mental imagery for dear ol' dad...
dieselwrench4 4
so much for a discreet toy box...
lulzcoaster 3
Dear lord u filled a box with them? how many whips and chains can a woman have?
BrotherTheo 31
On the + side he didn't want to have a nice long chat with you and/or your boyfriend about them. Count your blessings.
wanderingshopper 13
You should have taken care of it yourself. Your toys, your responsibility.
hallow239 3
FYDL- **** your dads life
Obey_StudBoii 23
Lol dads will be dads. It's their job to be that cool.
GillesOrElse 5
This proves.. lf you want something done right.. Do it yourself".. You were on a roll on that regarding the "big-box-o-naughty-toys".. Why did you mess that up at the last minute?.. Such a shame....
Obey_StudBoii 23
It didn't say he looked In the box. He handed it to her then said "I don't want to know"
kristabelli 19
Sorry OP, I feel like YDI... you shoulda just done it yourself.