Today, my dad was helping me move my stuff out. I'd asked my boyfriend to deal with my sex toys and lingerie, but still my dad showed up later at my new place, handed me a box full of them all, and simply said, "I don't want to know." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my dad surprised me by moving my bed (involving disassembling and reassembling it) in my new room, because I couldn't find how I wanted to set it up. He also took care of putting back my vibrator between the mattress and the base, where it was hidden. FML
Today, my parents were helping me move flats. The only box to spring open was the box containing condoms and copious amounts of napkins for clean up. They spilled all over the road as my dad was carrying it. My mum picked them up. FML
Today, I was cleaning out my deceased father's closet and found 4 boxes of BDSM porn videos, magazines and DVDs. To save his dignity, I hid them in my room to throw away on garbage day. My mom found the boxes in my room and now wants me to go to therapy. I'm only 16. FML
Today, my dad asked me to unpack the groceries he'd brought home. When he saw me come across a bottle of lube, then he told me how my mom had hit menopause and, as a result, her vaginal dryness made sex harder for the two of them. FML
Today, my dad came to pick me up early for the Christmas break. He walked in on me cleaning all 19 of my sex toys. That's more than one sex toy per year that I've lived. I now have to face a 7-hour drive from Montreal to Toronto with him. FML
Today, my dad decided to be an awesome person and fold my laundry without telling me. Later, I heard my parents having a conversation about a pair of panties that were "like dental floss" and which sister they belonged to. FML
Today, my father came over to my house. I realized there were condoms on the table, so I subtly moved a vase to hide them. He then gave me an unamused look and said, "I know you have sex. You've been married for nine years. Grow the fuck up, dumbass." FML
Today, my mom cleaned up my room. I had a drawer filled with condoms, 2 vibrators, and a bondage kit. She organized the condoms and vibrators in a shoe box. FML
Today, my dad walked into my room, threw some magazines on my bed, and calmly said, "You left your porn in the bathroom again." FML
Today, I went to run an errand while my parents helped unpack boxes in my new house. When I returned, my dad said to me, "I wasn't going to say anything, but we 'did it.' I'll let you figure out which room." FML
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Top comments
SerpentBoy 8
That's a good Dad right there... He knew it was your business and he left it that way.. I'm sure he will be trying to forget about it anyway...
conqueror57 11
ALWAYS handle the important things yourself.
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Comments (113)
Mirorbo 27
Two words, darling: Lock Box
Osito2011 9
Eight words: she should of took care of it herself!
MetallicaFTW 16
*should have. I absolutely HATE when people write 'of' instead of 'have'. I mean, come on.
SillyGirl4602 23
*she should have taken care of it herself. I never correct people because I make mistakes as well. But this was just bugging me. I'm sorry.
Connect 10
Poor guy your father. He'll never see his innocent little girl the same again.
Roguedork19 8
He'll never see his innocent little girl as "innocent" again, that's for sure.
annihil8or 15
Nice original comment there.
Epikouros 32
Did you check whether all your toys were still in the box?
phatdaddy62 23
Right. Because most Dads want to swipe their daughter's sex toys . . .
HighGTurn 12
Protective dads might.
zombieslayer83 19
Your boyfriend dropped the box on that one!
MetallicaFTW 16
Wow. That made a lot of sense...
Seany_93 18
Haha, Could of been your mother idk whats worse :S at least your dad was chill tho
laurbear87 8
Dad is most definitely worse, imo haha
ks23 9
How big is your box of sex toys that you couldn't handle it yourself?
willbur73q 7
That is what I thought too! A freaking box full lol.
jem970 19
Don't all women have one of those huge plastic 18 gallon tubs full of sex toys? Just me? Ok then....
dwc2134 5
Maybe she and her boyfriend are into BDSM, that can entail quite a few more toys and playthings then the average person might have around.
albsure23 3
Your dad is cool.. At some point you have to realize your kid is an adult.. Next time I would take care of that stuff myself though..
StaceeeP 23
why didn't you just move that box yourself?
dieselwrench4 4
read my mind....
doctorhook86 25
20: "Moving that box herself" is what the toys are for, non?
DocBastard 40
You should have looked at him startled and said, "SHIT, DAD! Where's my XXX Anal Intruder 5000??"
zingline89 18
Then her dad replies, "I decided to keep that one for myself."
jem970 19
XXX anal Intruder 5000: 84.99. The look on my fathers face wheb he finds it: priceless.
DrunkButterfly 17
You have a box full of sex toys?? I think your dad is right I don't want to know either!