Today, my dad was helping me move my stuff out. I'd asked my boyfriend to deal with my sex toys and lingerie, but still my dad showed up later at my new place, handed me a box full of them all, and simply said, "I don't want to know." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my dad surprised me by moving my bed (involving disassembling and reassembling it) in my new room, because I couldn't find how I wanted to set it up. He also took care of putting back my vibrator between the mattress and the base, where it was hidden. FML
Today, my parents were helping me move flats. The only box to spring open was the box containing condoms and copious amounts of napkins for clean up. They spilled all over the road as my dad was carrying it. My mum picked them up. FML
Today, I was cleaning out my deceased father's closet and found 4 boxes of BDSM porn videos, magazines and DVDs. To save his dignity, I hid them in my room to throw away on garbage day. My mom found the boxes in my room and now wants me to go to therapy. I'm only 16. FML
Today, my dad asked me to unpack the groceries he'd brought home. When he saw me come across a bottle of lube, then he told me how my mom had hit menopause and, as a result, her vaginal dryness made sex harder for the two of them. FML
Today, my dad came to pick me up early for the Christmas break. He walked in on me cleaning all 19 of my sex toys. That's more than one sex toy per year that I've lived. I now have to face a 7-hour drive from Montreal to Toronto with him. FML
Today, my dad decided to be an awesome person and fold my laundry without telling me. Later, I heard my parents having a conversation about a pair of panties that were "like dental floss" and which sister they belonged to. FML
Today, my father came over to my house. I realized there were condoms on the table, so I subtly moved a vase to hide them. He then gave me an unamused look and said, "I know you have sex. You've been married for nine years. Grow the fuck up, dumbass." FML
Today, my mom cleaned up my room. I had a drawer filled with condoms, 2 vibrators, and a bondage kit. She organized the condoms and vibrators in a shoe box. FML
Today, my dad walked into my room, threw some magazines on my bed, and calmly said, "You left your porn in the bathroom again." FML
Today, I went to run an errand while my parents helped unpack boxes in my new house. When I returned, my dad said to me, "I wasn't going to say anything, but we 'did it.' I'll let you figure out which room." FML
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Top comments
SerpentBoy 8
That's a good Dad right there... He knew it was your business and he left it that way.. I'm sure he will be trying to forget about it anyway...
conqueror57 11
ALWAYS handle the important things yourself.
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Comments (113)
oj101 33
I hope you don't mean that literally.
Arekushisu 8
If you want something done right....
doctorhook86 25
...You buy a vibrator and do it yourself? Sounds like the OP already got that message.
maxman13524 13
Tell him their a friends
BlowinChronic 18
They're*
MissNicky177 6
Your dad is amazing
buckdharma 38
The first time that I picked it up I had a bid surprise for right on it's bottom were two big buttons that looked like big green eyes i first pushed one, then the other, then I twisted it's lid And when I sat it down again, this is what it did It went zip when it moved bop when it stopped Whirr when it stood still I never knew just what it was And I guess I never will
lashes_to_ashes 14
Should've done it yourself.
doctorhook86 25
Sounds like the OP probably does it herself on a regular basis.
LMFAOwned 9
That dad is pretty chill, so that lessens the FML side of this. Still though, bf could be a little more responsible
fordneagles 34
Your boyfriend did deal with it, he put it in a box. YDI entirely for not dealing with it yourself, your dad is awesome and he's never going to see his little girl in the same way again, and it's all your fault.
thrifting 18
Never trust a man to do a woman's job. AKA if you want the job done right do it your own damn self. YDI
MooseKnuckle5150 13
He may not want to know, but I'd love to hear more. You sound like fun ;)
jem970 19
Heres the creepy guy that always shows up in any sex related FML guys!