Today, my dad was helping me move my stuff out. I'd asked my boyfriend to deal with my sex toys and lingerie, but still my dad showed up later at my new place, handed me a box full of them all, and simply said, "I don't want to know." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my dad surprised me by moving my bed (involving disassembling and reassembling it) in my new room, because I couldn't find how I wanted to set it up. He also took care of putting back my vibrator between the mattress and the base, where it was hidden. FML
Today, my parents were helping me move flats. The only box to spring open was the box containing condoms and copious amounts of napkins for clean up. They spilled all over the road as my dad was carrying it. My mum picked them up. FML
Today, I was cleaning out my deceased father's closet and found 4 boxes of BDSM porn videos, magazines and DVDs. To save his dignity, I hid them in my room to throw away on garbage day. My mom found the boxes in my room and now wants me to go to therapy. I'm only 16. FML
Today, my dad asked me to unpack the groceries he'd brought home. When he saw me come across a bottle of lube, then he told me how my mom had hit menopause and, as a result, her vaginal dryness made sex harder for the two of them. FML
Today, my dad came to pick me up early for the Christmas break. He walked in on me cleaning all 19 of my sex toys. That's more than one sex toy per year that I've lived. I now have to face a 7-hour drive from Montreal to Toronto with him. FML
Today, my dad decided to be an awesome person and fold my laundry without telling me. Later, I heard my parents having a conversation about a pair of panties that were "like dental floss" and which sister they belonged to. FML
Today, my father came over to my house. I realized there were condoms on the table, so I subtly moved a vase to hide them. He then gave me an unamused look and said, "I know you have sex. You've been married for nine years. Grow the fuck up, dumbass." FML
Today, my mom cleaned up my room. I had a drawer filled with condoms, 2 vibrators, and a bondage kit. She organized the condoms and vibrators in a shoe box. FML
Today, my dad walked into my room, threw some magazines on my bed, and calmly said, "You left your porn in the bathroom again." FML
Today, I went to run an errand while my parents helped unpack boxes in my new house. When I returned, my dad said to me, "I wasn't going to say anything, but we 'did it.' I'll let you figure out which room." FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
SerpentBoy 8
That's a good Dad right there... He knew it was your business and he left it that way.. I'm sure he will be trying to forget about it anyway...
conqueror57 11
ALWAYS handle the important things yourself.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (113)
jazziloveberryy 3
#30 Hell, the OP could've been more responsible. Why couldn't she do it herself?
dontpanic_fml 32
Why didn't you handle it yourself you moron?
iLuvsIt 10
YDI - there was no reason WHATSOEVER for your sex toys not to have been packed before either your boyfriend or your father arrived to move boxes. Get your shit together.
JoeCookieRaider 5
Tsk tsk tsk, you should've dealt with it yourself OP.
SuperKnuckels 6
its natural, dont worry about it.
whY402Jay 12
I just want to know why that wasn't the first thing to go and why you didn't move that out yourself.
jlarae12 10
Are you sure we don't have the same dad? Cuz it sounds like something my dad would do if I had a box of goods lol
chinagirl3343 8
Yeah why would he look in the box? When we moved ours were in a box that my mil grabbed. Pretty sure she snooped bc she was ashy white next time i saw her and she absolutely got what she deserved. Learned how freaky her son is. Muahahaha! ;-)
pantsman66 20
YDI Thanks to your boyfriend. Next time you better move that stuff by yourselves
taka805 10
A box full!!! I make sure the girl I'm with doesn't need any... Gotta make that a point in the relationship. Handle it oneself...