Today, a friend of mine came to my house with tears in her eyes. I thought she was finally single so I could ask her out. Actually, her mother found out she was dating a girl, so she wants me to be her fake boyfriend as a cover-up. At least we're "dating" now. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I called my mom to see how she was doing. She quickly hijacked the conversation and said that she's signed me up for a dating site, because she feels bad that I can't find a decent man. I've been dating my boyfriend for seven months, and she's seen me with him multiple times. FML
Today, my friends created a fake Facebook profile of a girl, and asked me to be in a relationship. Even my friends think I can't get a real girlfriend, and need a fake one to feel better. FML
Today, I had to help my best friend plan his upcoming date with the girl he doesn't know I'm secretly in love with. FML
Today, the girl I thought I was dating introduced me to her boyfriend. We've gone on dates and have slept in the same bed, but it turns out she thought I was her gay best friend and was planning to introduce me to her boyfriend's brother. FML
Today, I was busy going over wedding plans with my fiancé, when my mother called. Apparently, she wants me to "drop the joke" about this "fake engagement", because she was under the impression I was only dating a white guy to piss her and dad off, and was now getting carried away with it. FML
Today, my mom asked if I was seeing anyone. I launched into a description of my girlfriend, only for her to interrupt, saying that she meant a therapist, and the fact that I'd just made up a relationship was further proof that I needed one. I really do have a girlfriend. FML
Today, I finally got the courage to ask my best friend to go on a date with me. She assumed I meant a double date and squealed, "Who's the lucky guy?!" She thought I was her gay best friend for the past year. FML
Today, the girl I've been dating for several months, and fallen in love with, said "We're just friends, right? My mom thinks I'm leading you on." FML
Today, I pretended to not be able to go out with a friend so I could hang with my boyfriend at the movies. When I sat down I received a text that said, "Turn around." It was her. FML
Today, my boyfriend came over. My mom told him the story about the time she caught me having sex with my ex-boyfriend. My ex is his best friend. FML
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Top comments
Serafie 0
You asshole. "Woah, this chick came to my sobbing her eyes out. Time to scooooooore!" What the **** is wrong with you? She's crying and your first thought is asking her out?
stillxsearching 3
she was crying and all you could think of was "sweet i can finally ask her out"?!?!? you are a horrible friend and person!! i hope she sees this and never speaks to you again!!
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Comments (157)
Gottaa_luv_Thiss 0
awwh poor girl!!
DrDeath84 3
kill the fag
bobwaswow 0
win!!
Klink_fml 3
sry man :-/
lena_smiles4321 1
that's horrible. you have to tell her no!! cause that's low for her to even ask that of you...
Roxeant 8
As a lesbian, it gets REALLY tiring turning guys down for threesomes. It's like, when they find out I have a girlfriend, that's the first thing they ask... seriously. If I was going to have a threesome, which I never would because I enjoy monogamy, it would be with Lucy Lawless, Stephanie March, or Mariska Hargitay (too bad they're all straight and/or married...) Not some creeper dude that asks me. Lesbian means G-A-Y. As in, we don't do boys. And OP, I would advise your friend not to lie. It will only make things worse later on.
ndizzle 0
Seriously, though - threesome?
zebz25 0
zomg =D bawlin. i feel like giving you a cookie!
captain91 0
I can relate to her. I'm lesbian and my mom hates it. have fun with it though just don't get attached unless you know that there might actually be a chance with her in the future and look at it this way, she picked YOU! :D
mpclaw 3
hey, three way!
PincheEdgarr 0
epic fail;;
RoCksTaR_13 5
threesom??? haha FYL OP!!