Today, my Axe shampoo, body wash, and deodorant finally did their job: they got a girl to notice me. Too bad the girl was my grandma. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boyfriend told me I smell like his grandma's house. FML
Today, my grandma called me to tell me that a couple of cute boys stopped by her house to borrow something. She told them all about me, and that I would be interested in them. My love life is so pathetic, even my grandmother is trying to hook me up. FML
Today, I took my grandma to the hospital to visit her estranged husband who she hasn't seen in years. After a thoroughly disasterous visit, we're waiting in the carpark and my gran strokes my face and tells me I have a lot of facial hair. I thought she was going to thank me. And I'm a girl. FML
Today, my 13-year-old son discovered Axe. Axe shower gel. Axe shampoo. Axe body spray. All at once. FML
Today, my grandmother told me my favorite top had a permanent smell of BO, despite my constant deodorant use. I wear the top to work just about every shift. I now realize all the weird little comments my coworkers have made are actually hints to go take a shower. FML
Today, I shaved my pubes while staying at my senile grandma's place. I guess I didn't clean up properly, because she found some hair and insisted someone must have broken in while we were out and used the shower. I had to play along to spare myself embarrassment. FML
Today, I found out the crappy shampoo I've been borrowing from my girlfriend is actually "feminine wash." FML
Today, I was walking into class when the guy i like walked in and said "Gross it smells like grandma in here. What, did someone bathe in their perfume today?" I was the only girl in the room and I just bought new perfume. I thought I smelled good, apparently I didn't. FML
Today, my grandma and I went shopping. When I picked up some shower gel, she started ranting in front of everyone that shower gel injures one's "lady parts" and causes infertility, and that she wants me to give her great-grandchildren. FML
Today, I found out that before my grandma washes my clothes, she smells my underwear to "make sure they're dirty." FML
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Top comments
Omfgitsmia 15
Axe is cheap. Try some big boy cologne, hm?
Volcan_fml 22
Seriously, if I met a guy that used nothing but Axe products, my ovaries would recede so far I'd have them for eyeballs.
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Comments (107)
Shaowolf 17
Start doing fitness and the girls will notice you after several weeks
HeyTherexxx 21
If all of those are Axe products, isn't that too much Axe? I don't know if it's just me, but the smell is extremely smothering when too much products are all together.
SheepShoop_fml 20
Me too. There is something they put in their products that I really dislike, and when people put on copious amounts of it it gets nauseating.
HeyTherexxx 21
Exactly! When my brother uses it and uses too much, I end up tasting it. Axe is okay when you choose one of it (even then it's an iffy), but I'd like to breathe without my nose being assaulted. :
viper8608 9
you are everything wrong with the world
SinovaMikas 10
aaannnd awkward
amulya 14
We need deets on what happened.
emokittyofdoom 18
Perhaps you should work on your personality. Now that you smell nice, that is.
beaverteaser 16
when cougar goes wrong
SheepShoop_fml 20
Very few Axe products lack a particularly off-putting chemical smell. They simply use too much oils and scents, and if you are stacking product you'll just end up reeking. If someone is going to fall for you for your smell, it's going to be your natural one. People who smell like shit will smell like shit regardless of what they're using to cover up their stink. You're silly for thinking Axe will be the conversation starter.
Waredo_Dyrge 11
I'm genuinely surprised this got more FYLs than YDIs. Anyone that uses Axe (especially in huge quantities) deserves grief.
buttcramp 21
axe products are for Jr high kids, bro. some advice, get something that's still cheap but not so strong like adidas brand