Today, my Axe shampoo, body wash, and deodorant finally did their job: they got a girl to notice me. Too bad the girl was my grandma. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boyfriend told me I smell like his grandma's house. FML
Today, my grandma called me to tell me that a couple of cute boys stopped by her house to borrow something. She told them all about me, and that I would be interested in them. My love life is so pathetic, even my grandmother is trying to hook me up. FML
Today, I took my grandma to the hospital to visit her estranged husband who she hasn't seen in years. After a thoroughly disasterous visit, we're waiting in the carpark and my gran strokes my face and tells me I have a lot of facial hair. I thought she was going to thank me. And I'm a girl. FML
Today, my 13-year-old son discovered Axe. Axe shower gel. Axe shampoo. Axe body spray. All at once. FML
Today, my grandmother told me my favorite top had a permanent smell of BO, despite my constant deodorant use. I wear the top to work just about every shift. I now realize all the weird little comments my coworkers have made are actually hints to go take a shower. FML
Today, I shaved my pubes while staying at my senile grandma's place. I guess I didn't clean up properly, because she found some hair and insisted someone must have broken in while we were out and used the shower. I had to play along to spare myself embarrassment. FML
Today, I found out the crappy shampoo I've been borrowing from my girlfriend is actually "feminine wash." FML
Today, I was walking into class when the guy i like walked in and said "Gross it smells like grandma in here. What, did someone bathe in their perfume today?" I was the only girl in the room and I just bought new perfume. I thought I smelled good, apparently I didn't. FML
Today, my grandma and I went shopping. When I picked up some shower gel, she started ranting in front of everyone that shower gel injures one's "lady parts" and causes infertility, and that she wants me to give her great-grandchildren. FML
Today, I found out that before my grandma washes my clothes, she smells my underwear to "make sure they're dirty." FML
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Top comments
Omfgitsmia 15
Axe is cheap. Try some big boy cologne, hm?
Volcan_fml 22
Seriously, if I met a guy that used nothing but Axe products, my ovaries would recede so far I'd have them for eyeballs.
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Comments (107)
EvilLittleMan 23
Attract girls with your mind, not your scent.
mrlopez 13
Yeah, kick up a sweat with all that thinking on how to attract her. Let all that manly pheromones do the work
EbyKat 16
Pro tip: most women don't actually like the smell of axe. And if you really are using three different forms of it you probably smell strong enough to be noxious.
Quiet_one 22
Trust me, other girls have noticed it. Why do you think they've been avoiding you?
kitsuneluvuh 12
Oh sweetie, no girl likes Axe. Especially when you layer it on like that. If you want to smell nice to a girl, try Old Spice. That stuff really does smell godly.
SupremeLeader00 9
Axe? What are you 12?
annihil8or 15
Your grandma isn't a girl, she's a woman.
PunkySpunky78 15
Ok people how bad does the axe products really smell? Because I never smell a guy with them yet and the axe line has wide line of scents
blackonblight 33
It smells like chemicals and oil and fake spices. And it's not subtle. Axe users should be charged with olfactory assault. The product should be classified as a chemical weapon, the way the body sprays can set off asthmatics. Any perfume can trigger a sensitive persons asthma, but axe body sprays fill entire rooms, linger long after the wearer is gone, and are advertised to be worn in amounts that are comparable to the amount of hairspray your average 80's punk band would use. It's not just that it's a cheap, over strong artificial scent, it's marketed so that users marinate themselves in a scent.
neuroticallyyour_fml 17
Damn, I didn't know people were so anti-Axe! My wife wears Phoenix and I've always liked it because it isn't overpowering to me. Huh, maybe it just smells better on women lol.
blackonblight 33
Axe is like a ******* scent bomb that tells all women in the vicinity that there's incoming douchebag. The stuff is disgusting and I have yet to meet anyone who wears it that doesn't use so much of it that it seems like it should leave a visible Pigpen-esque cloud about them. Just say no to Axe. Scents, for either sex, should be mild, not something people outside your personal space should notice.
beautybeat98 6
dude axe really that shit stinks old spice.... now that is the shit and btw smelling nice won't a you a girl sorry