HOW CAN SHE SLAP?

Today, my boss fired me because I corrected him after he misspoke during a meeting. FML

Today, my boss called me and asked why I haven't been showing up to work. I didn't show up because he fired me last week over the phone. Then he fired me again for not showing up to work. FML

Today, my boss called me into his office. After yelling and firing me, his assistant comes in telling him he had mistaken me for someone else. He did not give me my job back, as he claimed it would make an awkward work environment. FML

Today, my boss fired me by locking me out of my workplace after I went out to throw out the trash. FML

Today, my boss fired me after chewing me out for the horrible date he had with my mother. FML

Today, my boss fired me for causing a "commotion" at work while running the vacuum. FML

Today, my lazy bastard of a co-worker punched me straight in the jaw because he didn't get the promotion I did. Being his new manager, I fired him. A few hours later, I was fired for "abusing" my power. FML

Nice meeting you

Today, my boss finally pronounced my name correctly. My name was then followed by the words, "You're fired." FML

Adding insult to injury

Today, my boss fired me. Then later on Facebook, his public status was, "Finally fired the sumo wrestler!" FML

The truth

Today, my boss called me into his office. He then fired me. Upset, I asked him, "Well, who's gonna replace me?" His answer was, "I don't know and don't care. Everyone who works here hates you. Now go away." FML