Today, my Axe shampoo, body wash, and deodorant finally did their job: they got a girl to notice me. Too bad the girl was my grandma. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend told me I smell like his grandma's house. FML
Today, my grandma called me to tell me that a couple of cute boys stopped by her house to borrow something. She told them all about me, and that I would be interested in them. My love life is so pathetic, even my grandmother is trying to hook me up. FML
Today, I took my grandma to the hospital to visit her estranged husband who she hasn't seen in years. After a thoroughly disasterous visit, we're waiting in the carpark and my gran strokes my face and tells me I have a lot of facial hair. I thought she was going to thank me. And I'm a girl. FML
Today, my 13-year-old son discovered Axe. Axe shower gel. Axe shampoo. Axe body spray. All at once. FML
Today, my grandmother told me my favorite top had a permanent smell of BO, despite my constant deodorant use. I wear the top to work just about every shift. I now realize all the weird little comments my coworkers have made are actually hints to go take a shower. FML
Today, I shaved my pubes while staying at my senile grandma's place. I guess I didn't clean up properly, because she found some hair and insisted someone must have broken in while we were out and used the shower. I had to play along to spare myself embarrassment. FML
Today, I found out the crappy shampoo I've been borrowing from my girlfriend is actually "feminine wash." FML
Today, I was walking into class when the guy i like walked in and said "Gross it smells like grandma in here. What, did someone bathe in their perfume today?" I was the only girl in the room and I just bought new perfume. I thought I smelled good, apparently I didn't. FML
Today, my grandma and I went shopping. When I picked up some shower gel, she started ranting in front of everyone that shower gel injures one's "lady parts" and causes infertility, and that she wants me to give her great-grandchildren. FML
Today, I found out that before my grandma washes my clothes, she smells my underwear to "make sure they're dirty." FML
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Top comments
Omfgitsmia 15
Axe is cheap. Try some big boy cologne, hm?
Volcan_fml 22
Seriously, if I met a guy that used nothing but Axe products, my ovaries would recede so far I'd have them for eyeballs.
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Comments (107)
GingerRoot 13
I don't even like the smell of axe... Try talking to girls. That seems to have worked since forever.
Wizzlbang 10
Axe is terrible. Like, literally terrible in every aspect ever. Girls who smell you are reminded of nothing but a middleschool locker room. Not arousing. Get some old spice.
Mynamewontfi 40
After reading the comments, I never knew so many people hated Axe. Probably because most axe users use way too much of the stuff. The deodorants do smell bad to me. I almost feel ashamed for using a little bit Axe, haha.
sarcasticlover 30
are u sure it wasnt old spice? :P
OmahaMalling 9
Grandma loves you!
stargirl_95 24
The good news is that girls probably have noticed you. The bad news is that it's probably been because your overpowering scent made their eyes water. Not attractive. If you want to get a girl to be attracted to you then ditch the Axe. I personally think that there's nothing sexier than a guy with an amazing scent that's so subtle you have to get really close to smell it.
Solipsist 12
I'm from Australia, they don't even sell that here, and I still know that it sucks, do yourself a favour mate, try something else!!
chloem103 9
Good lord this is bringing me back to middle school. Probably could smell you from a mile away.
biffenbauer 1
Better turn off your swag! :D
Sirpence 9
What you get for using axe