Today, my Axe shampoo, body wash, and deodorant finally did their job: they got a girl to notice me. Too bad the girl was my grandma. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boyfriend told me I smell like his grandma's house. FML
Today, my grandma called me to tell me that a couple of cute boys stopped by her house to borrow something. She told them all about me, and that I would be interested in them. My love life is so pathetic, even my grandmother is trying to hook me up. FML
Today, I took my grandma to the hospital to visit her estranged husband who she hasn't seen in years. After a thoroughly disasterous visit, we're waiting in the carpark and my gran strokes my face and tells me I have a lot of facial hair. I thought she was going to thank me. And I'm a girl. FML
Today, my 13-year-old son discovered Axe. Axe shower gel. Axe shampoo. Axe body spray. All at once. FML
Today, my grandmother told me my favorite top had a permanent smell of BO, despite my constant deodorant use. I wear the top to work just about every shift. I now realize all the weird little comments my coworkers have made are actually hints to go take a shower. FML
Today, I shaved my pubes while staying at my senile grandma's place. I guess I didn't clean up properly, because she found some hair and insisted someone must have broken in while we were out and used the shower. I had to play along to spare myself embarrassment. FML
Today, I found out the crappy shampoo I've been borrowing from my girlfriend is actually "feminine wash." FML
Today, I was walking into class when the guy i like walked in and said "Gross it smells like grandma in here. What, did someone bathe in their perfume today?" I was the only girl in the room and I just bought new perfume. I thought I smelled good, apparently I didn't. FML
Today, my grandma and I went shopping. When I picked up some shower gel, she started ranting in front of everyone that shower gel injures one's "lady parts" and causes infertility, and that she wants me to give her great-grandchildren. FML
Today, I found out that before my grandma washes my clothes, she smells my underwear to "make sure they're dirty." FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Omfgitsmia 15
Axe is cheap. Try some big boy cologne, hm?
Volcan_fml 22
Seriously, if I met a guy that used nothing but Axe products, my ovaries would recede so far I'd have them for eyeballs.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (107)
thatsucks4you 7
That is an overkill!!! I would be gagging and have a really bad headache if I walked by you. Get some real cologne from a department store and one or two spritzes. Scent is supposed to draw you in, not overpower the whole room.
simplyaerial 3
I
tgbvfr 8
It's not a magic potion, go easy on the overpowering stench of Axe!! that's probably what's chasing the girls away : overdoing the deo is almost as bad as bad BO
ClumsySilly 2
You're grandma is being nice. You should grow up - Axe is for boys, women want men.
hazardmuffin 21
Oh, I'd be willing to bet the Axe is working. Girls are in fact noticing you, then promptly walking away. Ditch the Axe, dude.
cactusdesu 15
I though the job of those things was to make you clean.
Gabbrill 11
I think it's time for you to go up to big boy shampoo, body wash and deodorant! Axe is for young teens who doesn't know any better!
whatthepinapples 1
That's so cute!
din365 5
Yeah, I wouldn't use axe if I were you. I used it for a while and it gave me bad body acne, and when i switched to irish springs or old spice it cleared up and hasn't happened since.
kbolt89 5
Trade Axe for some real cologne, and you will probably get more attention. It says, "Hey I care enough spend more than $4.00 on some cheap stuff from CVS."